When one of my friends entered the classroom looking flushed from running after teachers for her letters of recommendation, she saw my smug smile and inquired why I wasn't filling out forms like the rest of the gang, to which I proudly confessed that I was going to do my A' Levels privately. An answer I was going to regret for a good two years.

Studying privately meant I wouldn't enroll myself in college and study at home or take private tuitions instead of preparing myself for examinations. At that point, I believed I was doing myself a favour by not going to a school and choosing to complete my A' Levels privately.

I thought I had many reasons for opting to be a private candidate. The first may seem like an excuse of a dim-witted student trying to evade regular studies but I was sick of the monotonous school routine. Waking up in the morning; going to school; dealing with the pressure of homework, assignments, projects, and what not!

I thought getting a break from the constant lectures of teachers would be a pleasant change. Little did I know that it was those very lectures that opened my eyes to new information and also kept me motivated to raise the bar day in and day out.

Then there was the lure of studying at my own will — like a freelancer, being my own boss. I have never been a fan of following rigid timetables, hence I believed, studying privately would give me the flexibility of doing things the way I wanted, when I wanted.

Before commencing my private studies, I firmly believed that I will be able to complete my A' Levels within one year as opposed to the recommended two years and get ahead of my friends studying in college. A cursory glance at the mind bogglingly lengthy syllabi proved how gravely mistaken I was in assuming so. It is almost impossible for an average student to prepare and pass all the papers in one go.

Right after the O' Level results were announced, my friends started receiving interview calls from the schools they had applied to. I couldn't help wonder if I had made a mistake by not applying to colleges at the right time. Nonetheless, it was too late to go back on my decision. All my friends got admissions in leading schools in Karachi and began their academic year.

I, on the other hand, was still downloading syllabuses of my subjects, finding out suitable tuition centres and buying my course books. Once I got on with my studies, my worst fears about making the wrong decision came back to haunt me.

I soon started discovering the many drawbacks of private studies. For starters, it is quite difficult to find a tuition centre that offers all the subjects you have selected.

Consequently, you have to get admission in two to three different centres. A lot of precious time and energy is wasted running from one to another. To save time, one may consider home tutors but, as is no secret, with their exorbitant fee they are hardly a viable option.

Summaiya Asif, a private student says, “Everyday, I have a different schedule. Some days I have classes in two different tuition centres. On others I have no class at all. Sometimes the class gets cancelled due to the absence of one teacher and our trip to the centre turns out to be nothing more than a mere waste of time.”

Munif Tausif, another student who opted for private studies states that private candidates are unable to get letters of recommendation, which drastically affects their chances of getting into prestigious universities. Besides, the opportunity to make friends is pretty slim in a class where you hardly spend an hour a day with 10 or fewer students.

He laments, “In school one gets to interact with all sorts of people, gets to know and befriend some of them but being a private students seriously limits your interaction with other people and your social life almost comes to a halt.”

Mrs Yasmeen Khan, a teacher at a private school suggests, “Private candidates are at a big disadvantage as they do not get access to as many extracurricular activities that regular school-going students do. This isolation discourages universities from considering these students as schools not only look for high grades but for well-rounded people.”

Attending regular school gives you a sense of belonging. Meeting daily deadlines, planning parties, concerts and carnivals, participating in that sports day you hated ... I now miss the joy of being selected to represent my school in debates, art competition, sports, etc.

Knowing that everyday holds a challenge for you is just one of the myriad feelings a private student misses out on. Add to that the loneliness and isolation and you may well have the perfect recipe for disaster!