In our school and college life, friends come and go. With some, you laugh and with some, you end up crying too. This is what friendship and friends are: you learn and grow with them.

When I was in grade seven, I had a best friend. We were always together. Like, always. Everyone knew us as a pair. We were an inseparable pair.

Then, in the middle of the year, a new girl joined our class. She was quiet, but sweet. At first, it was normal. But slowly, I felt something changing. My best friend started acting differently. The new girl didn’t do anything wrong, but somehow, she came between us. And after that, things were never the same.

I cannot forget how my best friend changed. The canteen chats, the fun classroom gossip, everything felt different. Suddenly, she seemed more interested in her than in our friendship. She would often say, “Let her sit with me today,” and if I arrived even a minute late, the new girl would take my seat and sit beside my best friend.

The pain was too much. Maybe I was sensitive, but I could not bear the sudden change in her behaviour. It broke my heart and my trust in friendships. Eventually, I left the school and got admitted to another one. Thankfully, my parents understood. Although they tried their best to make me realise that it was part of life, seeing me break down every day made them take that decision.

Time has passed since then. I have grown up. But when I look at young people today, I see the same patterns repeating. The same misunderstandings. The same silent heartbreaks.

The intensity of young friendships

What I now understand is that in school and college, you are young, in your teens, so the friendships are not casual.

They are very intense. You share notes, you share your fears, your happiness, your sorrows, your secrets, your family problems and your dreams. You are with each other every time, if not physically, then digitally.

And this is why friends are become closer than family members because they are living the same phase of life as you are. That is why when a friendship ends, it feels like someone has shaken the ground underneath your feet.

Misunderstandings give birth to the ego

Not all friendships end because of betrayal. Many end because of a misunderstanding. Sometimes it starts small. From a joke or a message perceived as wrong, perhaps a rumour someone believed without asking for the truth, and many more like this.

Instead of clarifying things in between, assumptions grow and the distance increases. Oftentimes, one thinks, “If he/she cared, they would ask me.” This only increases the distance.

So instead of reflecting, one reacts, which eventually destroys not just the relationship but also mental health.

Lessons, time teaches!

Now that time has passed, I understand it better. We were just kids. We didn’t know how to deal with jealousy, insecurity or even small fights. We just felt things intensely and reacted.

As I grew up, I understood that not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay there forever. So if someone leaves, it doesn’t mean you were not enough; it means they just chose something else. You were not their first choice. It hurts, yes. But don’t beg someone to stay. Don’t make yourself smaller just to fit into their life again. If they’ve already gone, holding tighter won’t fix it.

If you’re going through this or a similar to this situation right now, read this carefully.

Stop building stories in your head. Ask them. Say what bothered you. And if you messed up, just admit it. Don’t wait. Because sometimes silence turns into ego and ego creates distances. And suddenly you’re strangers and you don’t even remember when and who started.

And the sad part is… most of the time, it was something small. Something that could have been fixed in one honest conversation. But because both people stayed quiet. It resulted in distance.

So speak while things are still soft and try to fix them if they are fixable. So that even after trying, it still falls apart… at least you’ll know you didn’t stay silent and you didn’t let your ego win. That’s enough peace, knowing you tried.

Published in Dawn, Young World, March 7th, 2026