THESE are the most uncertain of times and the most familiar of times. Indeed, life in Pakistan, despite the unpredictability and uncertainty, brings familiar patterns. There is after all the summer heat — it does get unbearable at its peak but one can never be sure if the monsoon will be on time or early and whether it will bring unprecedented rains or far too little. In politics, there are the personality-dominated political parties and the military’s domination of politics. Let’s call it establishment to be more precise. It surely is as familiar to us as the ‘Karachi versus Lahore’ debate (and about as unresolved).

Most of my schooldays passed under the shadow of Zia; by the time I began working, a plane was hijacked, PTV’s walls were scaled and then came images of Gen Musharraf travelling all over the world, feted and loved, perhaps far more than he was in Islamabad. And now as a middle-aged, tired hack, I am being taught about the wonders of hybrid regimes. And there is much love and adoration coming our way yet again from lands to the west of us, near and far.

However, from the man of religion to the enlightened moderate to the present, the soap opera plot introduces enough changes to fool the viewers. But us ‘oldies’ can still squint and recognise the meet-cute plot devices. Popular leaders are a no-no — silenced, jailed or exiled. People are put in their place in case they have lofty ideas about democracy. The judges are seen to be well paid to ensure they do very little work (which is acceptable to a few and not to the many). Women rarely get a good deal and in case someone wants to point out the enlightened one, let’s just remember Dr Shazia and Mukhataran Mai.

The government is also so refreshingly familiar. Shehbaz Sharif is as docile as Shaukat Aziz once was, at a distance from the people, speaking only when it is convenient for him and intelligent enough to know what he owes his position to. Back in the day, Musharraf loved his PM while the parliamentarians hated him. Aziz wouldn’t pay much attention to their galli, mohallaykay problems.

Have the scriptwriters forgotten to write a happy ending for the ordinary people?

He was a banker, least interested in constituency politicians who had voted for him at someone else’s behest. No different is Shehbaz Sharif, focused on economic issues, while conveniently quiet on other issues of concern such as freedom of press, or the anger of the people. Such issues are for politicians to worry about and not for technocrats who have a bromance to focus on. And there is little pressure on him from a parliament where many appear to have made it through crook and few by hook.

The opposition is no different. Back in the good old noughties, the PML-N was well behaved and fell apart before the elections were held in 2002. Only a handful made it to parliament to give thundering speeches about the big, bad establishment. The PTI obliged similarly after May 9 but the people proved to be a little more stubborn and voted for the party so the numbers were not as manageable as the Noonies were back in 2002. But those who made it have proven to be as innocuous as the opposition was back then. Then there is the MQM; with or without Altaf Bhai, it is never far away from the PM’s Office or the cabinet room.

However, the most familiar is the rest of the world, which is so in love with the leaders we are afflicted with that they are too busy applauding to notice the human rights violations. The absence of democracy is a minor issue. Indeed, imagine a city being locked down for over a week (in the hope of guests) and then have the world media go on and on about how great it all is. The country is bringing peace to the world and all eyes are on Pakistan. So what if some of us can’t get to work or find it easy to buy groceries — we should simply close our eyes and think of the nation.

Surely I could have no complaints. But there is one. With all this familiarity, I wonder where the money is. After all, when we are feted in the world, and have democracy beaten out of us, with manipulated elections, technocratic PMs and generals overseeing governance, there are always geostrategic rents, which also bring some good times for us plebs too. Indeed, there is an economic boom of sorts, which allows us to high-five and appreciate the fact that Pindi is so much better at running the economy smoothly than the bumbling and ‘krupt’ politicos.

But not this time around. It is as if I am watching an American rom-com but the actors aren’t very glamorous. Despite the rigging, the dubious government, the jetting around the world, there is little coming our way. The people are still stuck with higher taxes, a weaker rupee, high utility bills and no jobs. The least one expects is for the IMF to turn a blind eye but even they are being difficult. With sky-high petrol prices, the institution has forced this government to impose nearly Rs100 in tax and this might even go up in the coming budget, say some media reports. Really? Pakistan can’t even get this little concession for bringing world peace? It is the least we should get in exchange, especially as we are barely allowed to tweet now.

Someone, somewhere is just not holding up their end of the bargain. Or have the scriptwriters forgotten to write a happy ending for the ordinary people also? I really don’t get this change in the familiar and trusted plotline!

The writer is a journalist.

Published in Dawn, May 26th, 2026