We often forget the sacrifices and contributions of our fathers in our life. But Father’s Day gives us the opportunity to show and express our love, adoration and gratitude to this special person ....
There is not a single day that I haven’t missed my father, his presence, his love, kindness and constant support that I remember I felt when he was alive. He is not with me today, but I can imagine how it would have felt if he were alive. Everyone will describe their fathers differently, because all have different personality traits and so their personalities are built on their life experiences.
My father was very strict. Not by birth, but his profession (he belonged to the police department) gradually changed him into a strict person; he was a retired Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP) when he passed away. Throughout his life, he had a quiet nature — he was an introvert, who talked very little, and was not very frank and close to any of his children. He was strict in teaching kids little things about life and all that matters around.
No doubt his teachings were great, but the way he implemented them was not pleasing to any of his kids. His children, my siblings, thought he didn’t love them much and that he was more into his work and professional life than family life because they never saw him expressing his affection and concerns the way the children wanted. He could not tell them that his quiet nature did not mean he loved them any less. In fact, he loved them more than anything in his world; he cared for his children and was always worried for their safety but, sadly, due to his inexpressive nature, he never shared his feelings with his children.
Fathers lead by example and care for the family in their own unique ways. Their presence and influence make us who we are
I was very young, but I still remember him praying five times, reciting the Holy Quran, and whenever someone went out of the house, he would raise his hands and pray for their safe return. I didn’t understand his gesture and always took it as his routine. Now that I am a parent myself, I can understand and relate to my father in many ways.
I bear the same nature as that of my father, the strictness and the discipline, but just like my father, it does not mean that I don’t have love for my children or am careless towards them. But I think we, as kids, don’t understand our parents. I don’t have him in my life, but now I know the importance of those praying hands, which were raised behind us for our long life and safety.
Therefore, through my experiences, I would like to tell all those kids out there, who think their fathers doesn’t love them much or are always busy in their work, to understand his position and situation, to cherish the beautiful moments and above all, value his presence in their life. There are many children who don’t have this beautiful person in their life anymore and they know the true value of a father in one’s life.
Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in this world. Why? Well, both parents have the responsibility of making their children into a perfect human; but a father knows he has the greater responsibility of leading an exemplary life that his children see and follow in his footsteps.
The hardships fathers face
Every person has shortcomings and nobody is exempted from it. When you are looking at your father, think of him as not a superhuman, but a normal person who also has good and bad days in his life, when he feels down and dejected. He does not ask for support from you, but he deserves love, understanding and care from you.
Each father is unique and special, with different traits of personality. Some speak to their children a lot, while some less; there are those with a strict nature, and those who prefer silence over talk. These and many other traits don’t label a father good or bad — it’s simply his nature, just like you also have a particular type of nature.
They try to be a role models
Becoming a dad changes everything in a man’s life. He now has the responsibility of a family and a professional life as well. And to keep up with the ever-changing standards in this fast-paced world, a father tries to bring changes in his family’s life too. He tries to maintain balance and, for that, he sacrifices his life and his time.
If I sum up the role of a father, it won’t be wrong to say that he constantly thinks he has to create a good example for his children. Thus, he has to provide them whatever they want and sometimes go even beyond his capacity.
Is a father superhuman or an ordinary human?
As soon as children get a sense of their surroundings, they notice their father can do almost all the things that they themselves can’t. For instance, when things are damaged or broken, he mends and things work again. They see him solve all the household and outside problems in a matter of minutes. Thus, kids take their father as a superhuman — a person who doesn’t feel pain, doesn’t get hurt, feels sad or worried, etc., but always comes to the rescue, always helps get things done.
If this is the case with you, stop there please … a father is a normal human being, made of flesh and bones. He also has his good and bad days, and can feel dejected and down for various reasons. Take his silence as his deep thoughts, for he also has various things to sort out or deal with issues that he doesn’t want to share.
How much do you know your father?
Parents sacrifice their lives for the happiness and comfort of their kids, what do you do to make them happy? If I ask you, how much do you know your father, what would your answer be? Do you really think you know your father?
Think again! Think about his favourite colour, hobbies, favourite show, movie or even food, what he likes to wear and many such questions. If you know the answers, it is good but if you don’t, then you likely don’t know him as well as you should. So go on, ask your dad these questions, and get to know him better than ever.
Fathers need special treatment too
What we underestimate is the power of acknowledgement. Your parents, in particular your father, knows that you love him but acknowledging your affection is the best thing you can do. Acknowledge your love and respect, show gratitude through little things like wishing him through cards, presents, crafts, but remember nothing is as significant as spending quality time with him.
Lastly, I would urge all children to try to understand your father at all times. Speak to him, share your stories, experiences and ask him about his life experiences. I believe you will have the best time with him. Take my word, there is not a single day for celebrating the beauty and love of a ‘father-son’, and a ‘father-daughter’ relation, you can celebrate it every day in your own wonderful ways and cherish the moments.
Published in Dawn, Young World, June 19th, 2021