Opinion: Favouritism is no favour

15 Sep 2018

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Illustration by Sophia Khan
Illustration by Sophia Khan

Some of us think that favouritism is a simple act of making someone our favourite amongst all the others, cherishing them more than others, appreciating them in everything they do, whether it is right or wrong.

When people indulge in favouritism towards a certain person, they don’t seem to realise how it’s affecting others around them, how neglected and unwanted others feel. When people see a person appreciating others and not them, they think that they’re not good enough. This sadness is sometimes interpreted as jealousy, which only adds to their misery.

On the surface, a person who faces disregard by people, especially their loved ones, may appear strong and happy, but inside they are broken and sad. This can lead to anger and resentment towards others, particularly the person who was favoured.

Favouritism seems to happen everywhere, at work, schools, colleges, universities, but it first starts from home. Yes, our own home is where the whole phenomena of favouritism seem to start from. Our siblings are most likely to be our rivals and many of us feel that our parents like them more than us. Parents can justify their behaviour by saying that they are paying more attention to a child because he or she is the youngest, eldest, etc. But what is their justification for favouring every other person but not us?

Family is something that is supposed to be with you when you’re at your lowest, yet many children face negligence and harsh behaviour from their loved ones. And this only makes children more disturbed and distant. People seem to wonder why a child is angry without genuinely trying to understand what is going on in their heart and mind.

People are never going to be happy with you. This includes families too. So I feel that we should be the ones to love, cherish and appreciate ourselves. We know ourselves best. If someone is being unfair, let them be, only time would tell them that they were wrong and that everyone has the right to be appreciated and loved equally. We have God to love us, we have a few people too but self-love is important as well.

Being affected by favouritism in my family and a depressed person myself, I’ve now come to conclude that being sad isn’t worth it. Be happy and just do well, not the best. Of course you can try to be the best, but it’ll only be too consuming and it will gradually upset you as someone might be one step ahead of you and become the best.

If you feel like depression is kicking in, don’t let it. Do something to divert your mind from sadness. Run, walk, do some something creative and even watch funny videos or movies, but don’t let yourself become sad. If you have a best friend or any friends in general who you feel comfortable with, talk to them. I do all this and regain control over myself and my thoughts.

Remember that in every walk of life, you’re going to be criticised and that you have to stay strong, no matter what. Study what you like, choose a profession that you want to, travel wherever you want to, as long what you’re doing is right and you’re happy at the end of the day. You’ll be fine.

Published in Dawn, Young World, September 15th, 2018