OUR family justice debate needs to move beyond the conventional contest over which parent should have ‘custody’ and which should receive ‘visitation’ rights. When parents separate, the more important question should be about the arrangement that best protects the child’s welfare and continuing relationships. The Guardians and Wards Act, 1890, which remains central to guardianship and custody disputes, rightly places the welfare of the minor at the heart of judicial determination. Yet, the social reality of parenting has changed considerably since that legislation was enacted.

For a fit and loving parent, occasional meetings should not necessarily be regarded as an adequate substitute for parenting. A meaningful parent-child relationship is built through everyday life involving school routines, meals, home-work, holidays, healthcare, conversations and time spent together. Children may lose much more than contact when such participation disappears after parental separation.

This does not mean imposing equal physical custody in every case. Nor should contact ever override legitimate concerns involving violence, abuse or child safety. It means recognising that custody, parental responsibility and parenting time are different questions. We need a child-centred conversation on post-separation parenting; one that asks not which parent wins child custody, but how, wherever safe and appropriate, children can continue to meaningfully have both their parents.

Dr Naveed R. Khan
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Published in Dawn, October 19th, 2026