Dear Auntie,

I am writing this letter with a confused mind and a dejected heart. I’m a 26-year-old young man with big dreams and currently standing at a critical and complicated juncture. I am a Central Superior Services (CSS) aspirant. I took the exam last year but failed in a couple of subjects. I was devastated by the result. My family started doubting my efforts. My loved one started avoiding me. Only my friends, with whom I lived during my preparation, know how much effort I put into the attempt.

Now, I am very confused. My father passed away in December 2025. I’m currently teaching to meet my expenses. It’s a drain on my energies. I have to achieve my parents’ dream of clearing CSS and becoming an officer.

I need your suggestions on what I should do in such a chaotic situation. I am unable to find a clear path in my life at the moment.

At the Crossroads

‘Everyone Doubts Me After My CSS Exam Failure’

Dear At the Crossroads,

Look around you at the number of people who don’t make it through the CSS exam after one attempt. It is not failure. What will count as failure though is losing yourself in the process.

Right now, you are carrying a bigger burden than most people your age are expected to handle. You are undergoing grief, academic pressure, financial responsibility and the weight of filial expectations. In fact, your father’s passing alone is a life-altering event. So, when you add a failed CSS attempt, shifting relationship and uncertainty about the future, it is completely natural to feel lost and overwhelmed. Anyone in your position would feel the same way.

You need to put a pause on the panic because you do not need to solve your entire life right now. Start by giving yourself permission to slow down and regain your balance. Next, you should focus on creating a routine that feels manageable to you rather than feeling overwhelming. You can take small steps everyday consistently, because this will help you more than pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion.

It is a good idea to continue with your private teaching because it is a source of income and, in addition, it gives your days structure, while also giving you a sense of purpose. This is good for your sense of self-respect and it is helping you stay grounded during a difficult time. At the same time, take an honest look at your last CSS attempt. What went wrong? Could you have taken a different approach to the preparation leading up to the exam? Do this for your own understanding of yourself and your approach.

In case you decide to attempt the CSS again, do it with a clear plan and strategy. One more attempt after a reasonable level of preparation is a good idea, but please don’t tie your entire identity to the outcome. The CSS is a professional pathway, but it is not the only path.

And when it comes to honouring your parents’ dream, remember that your well-being is of the utmost importance. No parent wants their child to break under the weight of expectations.

As for the people who have started doubting you or pulling away, Auntie would recommend that you let them. Difficult times and life phases that are challenging have a way of revealing who truly stands by you. Remember, if someone truly supports you, they don’t disappear after a single setback.

For now, just keep things simple. Work on stabilising your routine and protecting your peace, as you get back on track. This is simply about navigating a difficult chapter in your life. And difficult chapters, no matter how heavy they feel, are not the end of the story.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query.
Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, April 19th, 2026