So how happy are we? No, we are not. We experience a burst of emotions, be it anger, sadness, happiness or any other. But what really matters is how we react to those feelings. We’ve all got some level of free will, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Sure, we can’t control every thought that pops into our heads, but we can decide what we do with it. And that’s where our power lies.

For instance, no one wakes up and says, “I choose to be unhealthy today,” but every choice — skipping the gym, reaching for that bag of chips — builds toward a lifestyle that makes one unhealthy. The same goes for happiness. It does not simply materialise, but takes place for a long time, and makes up thousands of unattended choices.

Happiness is like building a house. It’s not just a matter of putting one brick into a space and calling it a house. Year by year, brick by brick, you build and you build, until you have built a stable foundation that will allow joy to grow within you.

Free will is free

Ever find yourself trapped in a loop of endless worry? It’s not working, it’s sapping your energy, but it won’t let you stop. Sound familiar? Yeah, we’ve all been there.

Phew. If happiness were as simple as flipping on a mental switch, we’d all be skipping through life, worry-free. But the truth of the matter is, happiness is not something you can ‘get’, it is something you have to ‘get a handle’ on. And the good news? You don’t have to rely on willpower alone.

Here are some ways that can help you ‘create’ happiness.

Practise positivity

If trying to fight against your negative thoughts feels like a fight against a tornado, there is no need to worry. Shift your focus to your actions. Happiness arises from what you do, not just what you think.

Picture this: someone compliments you, “Wow, you did such a great job!”

Instantly, your mood lifts. Kindness in this form shines forth in your thoughts throughout the day, maybe the whole week, and you glow with positivity. And here’s the kicker — your boosted mood spreads. You smile more, you are kinder to others, and, magically, positivity starts to snowball.

Now flip the script. Be the one to hand out those compliments. Text a buddy just to let them know you’ve been thinking about them. Thank your peers for their efforts. These discrete, conscious movements may appear minor, but they do produce an expanding impact of happiness that goes in all directions, and, of course, comes back to you too.

The great power of gratitude

Gratitude is a deep, soothing breath. It turns our attention away from the deficit and towards the surplus, from error and towards correctness. And though it might appear to be a silly, too minute a gesture, gratitude is a force multiplier which has the ability to shift both your thinking, your connections and your life.

Gratitude rewires the brain. By a positive way, we teach our mind to recognise it more. It’s not about ignoring life’s challenges — it’s about finding the bright spots, no matter how small, and allowing them to fuel us.

Small steps, big impacts

So, how do we actually practice gratitude? It’s simpler than you might think. Here are some practical applications for it in everyday life:

Keep a gratitude journal: Take five minutes each day to jot down three things you’re grateful for. They need not be spectacular or deep, they can be as simple as a “yummy breakfast” from mum or reading book one level higher than the last time. With time, this approach changes your perspective towards what is happening in your life, and you come to realise all the good things in your life, most of which you might otherwise ignore.

Say thank you more often: How often do you thank the people around you? Do you thank your sister for helping you complete the homework or say thank you to the stranger who helped you in the streets? A simple “thank you” can brighten someone’s day — and yours.

Gratitude letters: Take it a step further and write a letter to someone who has made a difference in your life; it can be for anyone, be it your siblings or your friends or even your parents. Tell them what they are precious to you, and what they mean to you.

You might not realise the depth of the impact until you see their reaction — or feel the joy of expressing it.

Pause and reflect: What’s one thing I can be grateful for right now? It may be the lesson learned from the challenge or the scaffold provided when confronting it. This small shift in perspective can diffuse negativity. When you focus on how many blessings you have, then setbacks don’t hurt much. Do you know why? It’s because we realise that the loss is not greater than the gain. So don’t you dare to focus on the negativity. Be positive and spread the goodness of life.

Gratitude meditation: Spend a few minutes each day visualising the people, moments or things you’re thankful for. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and allow that feeling of gratitude to wash over you. It’s like a mental recharge for your soul.

Now it might occur to you that doing it once might help, but no, my friends, gratitude isn’t a one-time activity; it’s a mindset. It’s a quest of appreciating the beauty in the mundane — finding enjoyment in the small moments. It’s also about embracing life’s imperfections. And it needs to be practiced constantly.

Happiness is contagious

A common misconception is that “happiness is all about me” Here’s the thing about happiness — it’s not just about you. When you are kind, grateful and understanding, it rubs off on everyone around you. Your optimism encourages others to be optimistic, showing a domino effect of happiness.

Despite the toughest times, something to be thankful for is always there, maybe the will to move on, maybe the support of a friend, maybe even the chance to learn and change.

So, start today. Express a thank you, count your blessings or just stop for a second and savour it. Gratitude is free, but has priceless rewards. Text a person and explain to them how important they are to you. Smile at a stranger. Take one small step to brighten your day — and someone else’s. Happiness isn’t a distant dream. It is a skill, a habit at best, but always a decision.

Start building your joy — one small action at a time. Cheers!

Published in Dawn, Young World, April 12th, 2025