It's that time again — the time to go suddenly holy and appear on special TV shows to preach piety to the believers and also have some fun doing it.
As you know many of us still spell it as Ramzan. Some spell it Ramazan. Both are incorrect. Though Ramadan is the right spelling, what is even righter is Ram'ahdhaa'nh.
So remember this, fellow holies. It is very important that we spell it correctly. Ram'ahdhaa'nh, okay? Bless you.
However, Dot sahib won't sell it to ladies who drive. For them, he is designing airbags which blow up the moment a woman sits on the driving seat. Cute, no? For just 25,000. Bless him.
Alama Amir Liaqat, one of the greatest living religious scholars, called me to his Ram'ahdhaa'nh show. Not only is the man a genius scholar, he is also extremely brave, unlike me.
However, the parents of the children eaten by the snakes were sent home happy with an extra Meezan Cooking Oil gift hamper. Bless them.
It was agreed that the resultant burps signify the healing of the soul. Not surprisingly, Sprite was sponsoring this segment of the show. Bless them. Burp. Ahhh ... that sounded so soulful. Now, let's hear it from you.
Now this was what I was waiting for all year long. A Ram'ahdhaa'nh slot with the intellectual giant, spiritual eagle and supreme patriot, Hamza A. Tulsi.
By the way, Hamza says by next year, God willing, Ram'ahdhaa'nh will become Ra'mmahd'hhaanhh. What a master. ♫♪ Mein Tulsi, Hamza kay angan ki ... ♫♪
It was a unique moment because she rediscovered faith right there in front of the camera. And what's more, as she did that, I miraculously shrunk and became a holy baby whom she adopted to the thunderous applause of the audience.
However, after the show she donated me to the Edhi Welfare Trust.
Disclaimer: This article is categorised as satire.