"Oh my God, Haroon. If you were at the session you would have killed her," my sister told me at the end of the three-hour long dars.
"She said that the youth of our country have strayed away from our culture. They mimic the West or India by celebrating Valentine's Day or Basant. These festivals have nothing to do with our culture and also that women should not work because their incomes bring ill-fate to a household."
"You don't know how I controlled myself," Anam told me.
"I thought the session was nice," said Uzma, my sister's friend. She has done her Master's in Journalism from a leading women's college of the country and is now a housewife.
"Some of the things she said were informative."
"How can she even say it is un-Islamic for women to work?" I asked.
See: Avoiding love on Valentine's Day and other Pakistani stories
"What about Hazrat Khadijah, the first wife of the Prophet? Wasn't she a businesswoman? She can only impress people who don't know history or culture. What "our" culture is she talking about?
"Isn't Heer Ranjha part of Punjabi culture? It is the most celebrated folk story here. For centuries it has been sung and dramatised. It is essentially a celebration of love. How is it any different from the celebration of Valentine's Day?
In fact, the celebration of Heer Ranjha's love is much more profound than Valentine's Day. In our culture it has taken metaphysical dimensions, by becoming part of the folk religion.
"We worship love, not only celebrate it."

We were on our way to Jhang, the city where the legendary lovers, Heer and Ranjha, are buried in a single grave. Their shrine has now become a religious pilgrimage site, and I was particularly intrigued by such treatment of love.
Using the pretext of traditions and culture on several occasions, the right to marry out of choice, the right to practise religion, etc., are curbed.
Also read: Chenab — Pakistan’s river of love
I grew up with a "modern" understanding of tradition, which argued for the unshackling of society from the fetters of traditionalism to make way for progress.
However, what exploring traditional and cultural history did for me was to clarify this misconception.
This derogatory manner of looking at tradition is a colonial legacy that thrived on undermining the indigenous culture and exalting the British manner of living.
The legend of Heer Ranjha is an example from the repository of "tradition" that not only celebrates the love between two individuals (a pre-modern example of honouring individuality) but also raises it to metaphysical dimensions comparing the love between Heer and Ranjha to that between a believer and God.
Take a look: Damodar Gulati — The poet who immortalised Heer and Ranjha
Part of the oral tradition of South Asia, the story of Heer Ranjha has been sung by bards and dramatised by folk artists for centuries.
The story was first written by a poet from Jhang called Damodar Das Arora during the reign of the Mughal Emperor Akbar.
However, just the way Valmiki's Ramayana became Tulsidas's after he rewrote the epic, this legend also became Waris Shah's when he rewrote it in the 18th century.
Today, it is also referred to as Waris Shah's Heer.
According to Damodar's version, which was then supported by Waris Shah, Heer Ranjha is based on an actual story that Damodar saw unfold in front of his eyes.
In the end, both Heer and Ranjha were buried in one grave, to celebrate their eternal love.
Their shrine in Jhang, which, according to legend, is the hometown of Heer, is today a popular destination where people from all over the country come to ask for blessings, especially in the matter of love.
Explore: Once temples, now madrassahs — Dars among deities
True to its pagan roots, folk religion in Pakistan has specialised shrines for particular needs — Aban Shah for fertility, the shrine of crows for people with speech impediments and Heer Ranjha for well, love.
When Damodar wrote the poem, it was meant to be a secular love epic.
Around the same time that he lived, there was a wandering malamati Sufi in Lahore known by the name of Shah Hussain, a spectacular Punjabi poet.
He, for the first time, transformed the story of Heer Ranjha from a secular epic to a spiritual legend.
He compared the love of Heer for Ranjha to that of a believer for his God, a theme that was subsequently picked up by Bulleh Shah and Waris Shah.
Through his poetry, he introduced the concept of Wahadut-ulWajud, or monism, into the story which remains an essential part of Hindu philosophy and Islamic spirituality.
Mahi mahi kook di mein ape
Ranjhan hoyi Ranjhan Ranjhan sab koi akho,
Heer na akhon koi
Calling out the name of my beloved I myself have become Ranjha
Call me Ranjha now as I am no longer Heer.

"The shrine of Mai Heer," noted a board on the road.
"What is Mai?" I asked Iqbal Qaiser.
"It is used out of respect. Baba is for males and Mai for females," he explained.
The shrine was located at the top of an ancient mound, surrounded by a plethora of graves.
A small market had burst into life here. Ignoring the calls of vendors selling threads, bangles and lockets, we climbed the stairs towards the shrine.

In the courtyard, sitting under a waan tree, a lone musician sang Shah Hussain (Punjabi verses) on his harmonium.
"O Mother, to whom should I now narrate these tales of my pains?" he sang.
Walking into the main shrine, I wondered if Heer was a Shia or a Sunni. Did it even matter?
Amanullah, the caretaker of the shrine, greeted the devotees telling them about the miracles of this place.
"Girls looking to get married, tie bangles here. Young couples who want to get married but cannot for some reason, tie threads here and their problem is alleviated. Barren women present cradles here and with the blessings of Mai Heer they are gifted a child."
Also see: Your task is not to seek for love ...
The cradle offering has uncanny similarities to the cult of Lord Krishna.
The walls of the shrine are filled with love messages written by pen:
"You may never be mine but I wish that wherever you live you may spend a happy life. Murad. Xox."
"Zainab and Imran forever."
"Salute to the love legend Mai Heer and Baba Ranjha."
In a hotbed of religious violence, these were fascinating messages of love in honour of Heer and Ranjha.
"Do you know in a lot of villages, the recitation of Waris Shah's Heer is not allowed. People believe that if the sounds of the verses fall on the ears of young girls, they too will elope like Heer," Iqbal Qaiser told us.
The above is an excerpt from In Search of Shiva: A study of folk religious practices in Pakistan (Rupa Publication 2015) by Haroon Khalid.
The article was first published in February, 2016.
Comments (46)
Good writing bro. Love is inherent in Humanityand not a perverse thought at all. Attraction is a phenomena without which human existence will cease to exist, hence can be celebrated in any manner keeping minimum ethical and social norms in view. Avoiding limits of decency though shall must be criticized. Kudos...
In Indian culture the biggest epitome of love is Krishna and Radha.Where the God himself with his muse teaching people the message of love.
Yes, but mostly local spring and fall festivals. DO you know any of those in Pakistan?
Wonderful Article. The Area/Place has culture, religion does not.
It just warms my Punjabi heart to read this. Punjabiyat is strong in you . Our forefathers are smiling.
Pakistani youth have picked up more of the foreign concepts thanks to the Internet and smart phones.
But know nothing about our own culture and traditions or even the history of this part of the world and its heroes! That's where the danger lies.
wow awesome
The story of Heer and Dido Ranjha are a story from ourselves and from our land. Like Mirza and Sahiba they are a part of our history other stories are from a far off land and therefore not inherent within us.
Great piece.
This is what you call real culture and legacy.
People often confuse culture with religion, which is a very dangerous concept.
Fact is 'love' is all around us - and people using the religious argument to curtail it are only making the general public miserable.
Yes, there are traditions, customs, protocols etc - but ultimately, you cannot 'force' two people to be together if they don't want to.
Is celebrating love not a part of our culture?
Answer: Yes! Pakistan has several historic love stories.
Yes it is part of our culture,but not on Valentine's day only, all the 365 days of the year.
"Is celebrating love not a part of our culture" There is a good decent way of celebrating love & a bad way as well. The earlier is in the culture of Pakistan & not the later one. Why do we need to keep on confusing VD love making with respectful love showing.
Street vendors and small business owners lost the most on Valentine Day. If Govt. wants to get involved then they should send a clear message otherwise they should keep out of this type of issues.
Love is beautiful.
Hope President is reading this.
Love is the Almighty,s gift for mankind, Love is Heavenly, Love is Divine. Love is not selfish.
For special feb 14 Its love,
In school as a Punjabi in India, I studied all poems on Heer Ranjha, Damodar's, Waris Shah's and Shah Hussain's. Also studied the poems of Baba Farid and other poets of undivided Punjab. What a tragedy the partition has been to the history and culture of Punjab. My mother tells me that before partition the hindus, sikhs and muslims lived harmoniously together.
You can't equate Valentine's Day with love. Love in our culture is an everyday event not just on the 14th of Feb. Valentine's Day is a gimmick used by retail outlets to make more revenue. By supporting Valentine's Day you are killing the spirit of love you talk about. Like you don't only call your mother on Mother's Day, Mother's Day for us is every day. I just don't understand the obsession with Valentine's Day. Of all the things I do to support my wife through out the whole year, if I forget to buy a gift on Valentine's Day I'm in trouble. To be honest I think forget the rest of the year, I'll just be romantic on Valentine's Day and save the grief. That's not the spirit of love.
The word 'love' is profound deep and above intelligent (Aql). Most of the time we here about (Laila Majnu), (Heer Ranjha) we think they love each other to far extent, but this is not the case. There soul is towards the Creator who create beautiful faces. Their love was beyond intelligence (Aql).
@jyotsana Thanks to the British! They had been dividing nations from east to west as they were scaling back.
@jyotsana " My mother tells me that before partition the hindus, sikhs and muslims lived harmoniously together" This can happen again if we follow PK's advice and get rid of wrong numbers!
I suggest we call it a Heer's day instead of Valentine's and celebrate remembering all our folklores!
Most people think that love between a man and girl is ultimately for sex.
Issue is not celebrating love but celebrating a Christian day as historically St, Valentines Day !
very informative and much needed article. they have ruined our roots....the zia's leftovers
Another superb article from Dawn that shows common heritage of Punjabis and Pothwaris. Jogi Ranjha's guru was Guru Gorakhnath of Gorakh Hills, mentioned in Dawn a few days ago. I am a Hindu born in pre partition Mirpur (Pakistan Administered Kashmir). My mother used to tell me another love story, that of Saif ul Malook. The Saif Ul Malook festival takes place annually in April in Mirpur. It celebrates the anniversary of Shah Ghazi Qalandar, the spiritual guide of Mian Muhammad Bakhsh, Pothwari poet and author of Saif ul Malook.
LOL! There is an actual mazar for heer ranjha!? :)
One of the best article. thanks dawn
There is absolutely no harm in this but following other cultures recklessly is a crime.
The bitter reality of both the east and west punjab is everyone love the story of HEER but nobody wants 'HEER' to born in their homes.
Calling out the name of my beloved I myself have become Ranjha Call me Ranjha now as I am no longer Heer... just beautiful concept of monism..
I wish We would get chance to visit mazar of Heer-Ranjha sometime in future. Definitely, this spot has potential to become one of the most visited place by Indians in Pakistan. We have grown up by listening to folk songs based on heer-Ranjha eternal story. Famous Haryanvi ragini.. "Heer jaane walli .. batayiye zara.. khata kya hai merrii batayiye zara.. "
One more point, Heer-Ranjha wete not just Punjabi legends. They were equally celebrated across whole north India but after division of United India- the glory seems to get diminished due to various influence in Indian youth... I don't know if you are aware or not, there is a category of folk songs called as "Heer" considered to be "Ragini" sung through out Haryana and Western Uttar Pradesh ( i.e, Harit Pradesh - Ghaziabad, Meerut, Muzaffarnagar, Shamli, Bhagpat) ..
The west worships love too.......In various ways... Mostly spiritual...... But also with the dominant religions......That includes Christianity..... Jesus was the personification of Love.....And the teachings of what he taught about Love and God.
i have personally visited this shrine.. one thing writer has not mentioned. let me share. when we visited that place we saw that shrine is roofless..there is not roof when you look at the top , standing inside shrine. the caretaker told us that several efforts were made to construct a roof but all the time we failed as the roof fell apart.. till today it is roof less...sun shines directly here inside.
very well written (y)
@Khan Pakistani, So what if it is associated with christianity? Are christians not part of this country? Are there customs not part of this country? Do you (and people who vehemently come out and cringe at any thing non muslim being associated with our country) realize how insulting you are to pakistan's religious minorities?
Beautifully penned by Haroon. But then one can only hope that those traditions remain alive or get thrown by zealots into the dustbins of history as is often the wont. Just thinking about Bamiyan, Syrian Palmyra temples/Churches etc.
very well written :-)
We do not love anyone anymore. We only eat, sleep, pray and repeat.
Happy Valentine’s Day Dawn
Love You Haroon Khalid
@M. Malik Culture and traditions change with time. As long as they are not against humanity, people will embrace the new culture and traditions more easily in this new age of information.
"shrine of crows for people with speech" What does this mean ?? I am a stutterer and I can't speak fluently. Please give me information about this shrine.
@Sajj_ahmed perfect
Articles like these is what I keep coming back to read Dawn. I had always heard of the Heer Ranjha epic, but what a journey Haroon Khalid ji took us on through his well researched article. Thank you!
Haroon Khalid's articles are always a good read. You can't even count the number of songs that feature love as the main theme, or the number of paintings and other works of art and even literature that are beautiful expressions of love. It is a very important part of our human nature.