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We as a nation have developed great rational and philosophical arguments to explain the world around us. It might not explain the world but may explain the workings of our mind. We must appreciate in ingenuous minds working behind these standpoints.

Principle standpoints in Al-Absurdistan

Principle standpoints in Al Bakistan II

1-Refining heroin and selling drugs for a living is trade…. but consumption of liquor is haram.

2-Taliban confessed that they shot Malala, the attacker's sister has confessed and apologised for the attack. The Pakistani authorities, medical staff  of Peshawar and Rawalpindi hospitals, British hospital staff and authorities, Malala's family, teachers and classmates who were injured have confirmed the attack, but its unbelievable for lot of al Bakistanis … but the guy who claimed that he made a car that runs on water is believable for them.

3-Taliban fighting America in Afghanistan is jihad….. but Taliban attacking the allies of America in Pakistan is terrorism.

4-When Mehdi Hassan crossed over into India its, ‘un ke gale mein Bhagwan bolta hai’…but the moment he crossed Wahga border into Pakistan, it was, ‘o meraci wapas agai jay’.

5- We will use nuclear bombs for the protection of national honour and preservation of our country… but killing in the name of family honour is crime in al Bakistan.

6-Our consumption of oil, sugar and vegetables, fruits doubles in the holy month of Ramazan ….but this is a holy month of fasting and abstaining from indulgences and food.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

7-We need to stop basant, praying at shrines, marriage rituals and ban obscenity on TV, films, and theatre. We shall prohibit arts, music, dance and painting etc.….but we need to revive our culture to stop the Indian cultural invasion of Pakistan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

8- Majority of Pakistanis are peace loving and only a tiny minority of extremists are responsible for  Pakistan’s bad image…..but most popular name in Pakistan is Osama.

9-Earthquake and floods in Pakistan was our test from God … but Sandy hurricane was God’s wrath on America for their arrogance.

10-Afia Siddiqui’s links with al Qaeda are fake. Swat video was fake, Malala attack was drama, Osama killing in Abbotabad was drama (he died in 2005),.....but Abu gharib torture photographs in Iraq and Gautanamo detaninee tortures exposed by western media are real.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

11-Women shall not go to school and stay at home….but when they get sick they should only go to female doctors for ultrasounds and physical checkups.

12-When Pakistan is struck with a calamity like a flood or an earthquake, we demand that where are NGOs and international community now, and should come forward and help the people….but NGOs work for western agenda is against the interests of Pakistan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

13-We don’t understand from where religious extremism, sectarianism and violence is seeping into our society… but Mahmood Ghaznavi, Mohd bin Qasim, Mahmud Ghori, Syed Ahmed Shaheed, Sheikh Ahmad Sirhindi, Taimur ling are our heroes to be taught at schools.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

14-We are 7th most corrupt and dangerous country that lack rule of law according to world justice project (WJP)? According to Transparency International, Pakistan stands at 33 in an index of 1 to 100 ……but our religious leaders want us to lead the entire Muslim Ummah.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

15-Dual nationals can’t be members of parliament because they have taken oath to pick up arms in defence of their host country…. but their video testimony is enough for treason charges against Pakistani Ambassador.

16-All cases against the government were strong cases and the culprits were convicted including the elected Prime Minister Gilani …..But 96 per cent of terrorists were freed because of weak cases.

17-Human right violation of al Qaeda detainees and Taliban are a testimony of dual standards of the West. Gautanamo Bay detainees and Aafia siddiqui shall be given a fair trial according to UN charter… But we shall hold peace negotiations with Taliban who dragged Najibullah out of UN compound and hanged him publicly without any trail.

18. Foreign hands are responsible for all the bomb blasts, sectarian killings and attacks on army bases, shrines, mosques and target killings of religious scholars…... but our strategy against them is banning pillion riding and mobile phones.

19. The extremist outfits are banned and their accounts frozen… but they can drop the name and start afresh with new names in similar office. They would be allowed to work as charities.

20-FIA can’t be trusted to investigate charges against Master Bill Gates Arsalan … but case against Aslam Beg and Asad Durrani shall be investigated by FIA.


The author left architecture for painting but ended up as a cartoonist and now writes Hijjo. He is the jack of all trades.


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.