We see, we admire and we get influenced by people that we see online. They can be our friends, relatives, a celebrity or even an influencer.

But why? Probably because they look at their best, even if it’s just a little moment from their routine, such as shopping, eating at a restaurant, trying a new trendy drink, etc. The way it is all being shown feels like magic. In other words, looking ‘chill’ and strong has become a trend, even when in reality people are not what they project on these posts.

While there can be truth in all the things mentioned above, many times, the real thing behind all this is emotional weight (could be of any kind), but here I would only focus on the fear.

With social media everywhere and trends constantly shaping lives, many of us have started believing that if our emotions aren’t “happy” or “chill,” showing them to the world around us will make us look weak. Perhaps because there’s this stereotype that people who don’t go with the norm aren’t liked, admired or welcomed. And gradually we start to believe that people who exhibit only a few emotions, such as being calm, happy and vibrant, have more power and are more admired. Therefore, to be accepted, we also hide and hold back our true selves.

We post our hangout pictures, yet deep down, many of us know what it took to get that ‘perfect’ moment. Maybe you argued with your parents for permission and ended up crying, feeling miserable. Or maybe you had to face someone you can’t stand at the same gathering, so you forced a smile just for the photos. Either way, we hide the parts of ourselves no one sees, perhaps the core feelings.

The question remains, why do we hide ourselves? To get others’ approval? If you say yes, remember, kids, pretending doesn’t make feelings disappear. We laugh, post memes and act cool, but there’s still something heavy inside. And the sad part is, almost everyone is doing this. Everyone looks relaxed, but inside they want real connection, real care and real honesty.

True strength isn’t pretending you don’t feel anything. True strength is knowing how to care without losing yourself. It’s being able to say, ‘I don’t like this,’ ‘This is bad,’ etc. It’s being real even when everyone else is acting.

Think about someone in your life, someone who’s honest and open. If you have one, then you would agree with me that their presence feels refreshing to you; you may find them surprising. Why? Because they are rare.

My advice is that you don’t need to look chill. You must show the real you, whether it is the silent person in you or the one who speaks their mind. Remember, it’s not a crime if you’re not feeling the vibe or don’t feel like you belong to your ‘so-called tribe.’ It doesn’t make you weak, because they are all human traits.

When you keep hiding yourself and pretending, it only pushes your emotions down for a while, like a spring being pressed, but sooner or later, it bounces back as stress, anger or just numbness.

Be honest; it would help you understand each other so much better. It would make friendships and relationships stronger. And it would help us know ourselves, too.

Published in Dawn, Young World, November 8th, 2025