Dear Auntie Agni,

I am 13 years old and I am in middle school (eighth grade). My best friend, whom I really love from the depth of my heart, transferred to another school and she asked me to transfer too.

I was sure that that school was good for me too and I had made up my mind that I was going to study there. But there was one problem: my parents weren’t willing to send me there. So yeah, I’m still in my old school and I miss her a lot. I miss the way we talked and laughed.

I am very sad and upset. And almost everyone I know has noticed that I have become quiet. It hurts so much. Due to this, I can’t focus on my studies and I’m skipping school way too much. I go to school two or three times a week. And I am falling behind on my work.

I can’t talk to other people. I am not confident anymore. I am just miserable now that I won’t see her anymore. She is going through some bad stuff too, which she really doesn’t deserve.

‘I Hurt My Bestie and Am Miserable’

And one of the “stuff” is because of me. There was a group of friends she hung out with and it felt like they were trying to steal her from me, so I told her and she got hurt (it’s a long story). I feel like a monster. And I lied to her, too, about how much I hated her and she’s hurt by that too. She doesn’t talk to me like she used to. She doesn’t tell me anything. And it’s all my fault. I don’t know what to do. Please guide me. Tell me how I can make her like me again. I really love her, I don’t want to lose someone as precious as her.
A friend

Hey there,
You are going through a tough time, but you are not alone in this. It’s totally normal to feel sad and kind of lost when a friend you really cared about is no longer around every day in school, especially when you miss them so much. Your friendship with your bestie meant the world to you, and it’s totally understandable that you want to fix things between you two. There are a few things you can try to patch things up.

The simplest is to just say sorry. It is not easy, but apologising sincerely can make a big difference. We are all human and we mess up all the time. Tell your friend how genuinely sorry you are for messing up and hurting her feelings. Let her know you value her friendship and you’re ready to make things right. She may not be very forthcoming straight away, so you may need to show patience. Rebuilding trust takes time, so don’t rush things. Give your friend space if she needs it, but also let her know you’re there for her whenever she’s ready to talk.

In the meantime, show your friend that you still care for her. Indeed, actions speak louder than words. Be there for her when she needs someone to listen to her or a shoulder to lean on. Little gestures can mean a lot. You should also think about what went wrong and how it affected your friendship. Learn from it and also think about how you contributed to the problem. Take responsibility for what you did and think about how you can do better in the future.

Just remember, friendships can survive a lot if both people are willing to put in the effort. Stay positive, hang in there and know that things will get better with time.g

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, May 5th, 2024