Dear Khala Jani!
I am a 22-year-old girl and I am ugly. I have lost all my self-confidence, because I have heard the word ‘ugly’ so many times that it has became part of my personality. I am constantly compared to other pretty girls and I was rejected by someone I loved because I am dark, fat and short –totally ugly. Is there any way to get rid of this feeling that I am ugly? Is there a way to become beautiful?  Please help.
Ugly

Dear Niece,
There are people who are not conventionally good-looking, but they own the room when they walk in. Unfortunately, everyone is not that lucky, confident or charismatic. Much as I would like to tell you that how you look doesn’t matter, the reality is that it is not true. Being good-looking is definitely a big advantage in the world. The good news is that you can work with what you have to make yourself more attractive. There are things about your looks that you can control, such as your weight, as a step towards making yourself more attractive.

When people consider themselves unattractive, often they give up even trying. They think nothing can help them. So the first step towards becoming the best version of yourself is to take a hard look at yourself and see what resources you have at hand and what you can control.

‘How can I improve my looks?’...

You are going to embark on a personal makeover to become the best version of yourself. Begin with buying clothes that suit you. Is there a colour and a cut that flatters you? Pay attention to what suits you. Also buy or get other clothes stitched which have a similar cut.

Next, learn to put on make-up. There are uncountable YouTube videos that can teach you that for free, you just need to click and learn. There are also a lot of affordable cosmetics out there that you can buy. Think of your clothes and make-up as an investment in the new you.

When people consider themselves unattractive, often they give up even trying. They think nothing can help them. So the first step towards becoming the best version of yourself is to take a hard look at yourself and see what resources you have at hand and what you can control.

Also work hard on becoming physically fit. Physical fitness makes you attractive. If you have the resources, you can join a gym. If that is not possible, find a park near you to go for brisk walks or find online exercise videos that you can follow. Find something that works for you and stick to it. Do not give up if you want to change the way you look. Work on your posture too. Stand and walk straight.

And while you are busy making your exterior attractive, take the time to work even harder on your personality. Stay humble, be kind and work on yourself to become more and more confident. One big part of being confident is to stop going on about how unattractive or ugly you are. Self-pity is incredibly unattractive. So banish the word ‘ugly’ from your vocabulary. Also remember that you are not in competition with anyone.

Here’s to a more attractive and beautiful version of yourself!

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, February 9th, 2020