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Advice: Make your words count

June 22, 2019

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Have you ever felt that when you talk, nobody cares about what you say? Or nobody gives you attention when you are telling something? If yes, then you will probably find a solution of this problem in this article.

First of all, you have to analyse why other people don’t hear or give importance to you. Are they more mature than you are? Or are they more educated, richer or are they just arrogant? Maybe the problem lies somewhere else, maybe it has something to do with you!

Yes, it could be that you speak too much or too less, or it may be that you speak when there is no need for you to say anything. Or perhaps you don’t fully understand the point of view of others and you speak without having a clue of what the discussion is all about.

Yes, these could be some of the reasons why people don’t give you importance to what you say. If you had ever listened to the interviews of any celebrities and influential people like Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos or Steve Jobs, notice that they speak less than it is necessary. If you haven’t done the homework of speaking on any topic, or are not mature enough to discuss a topic, you are likely to repeat your phrases. So the more you talk, the more you decrease the value of your words.

What you have to do is to join a social gathering of three or more people. When you see them totally engrossed in a discussion, speak a few words in a polite manner when a pause comes in their discussion. Now notice if they build up their discussion on your point or continue with their own discussion and completely ignore your words. This will make you realise if you are speaking right on the point and if not, then you really need to focus on what others are talking about and where do you need to correct yourself.

Apart from that, there comes a time, when someone argues with you for no real reason, as some people have the habit of proving themselves always right. At such times, just give your explanation precisely and leave the scene. This will prevent the argument from accelerating and maybe when this person has the time to reflect, they will remember your words and realise their true meaning.

Another main cause of the importance of your words decreasing could be your presence. For example, if you meet a person daily and they don’t give you the respect you deserved, stop meeting that person for some time if it is not necessary for you. Giving gap between visiting the same place and same people can make others to miss you, and they may start recalling the good things about you.

Often times, there is someone who gives you a ‘tit for tat’ reply. You may get this response for a couple of reasons, (a) they are arrogant for no reason and always spreading negativity among their peers and (b) you may not have given importance to them earlier, thus as a revenge, they start ignoring you. So stop meeting them and completely ignore them.

Lastly, I would say it matters more how you represent your ideas than how much actually they are worth. So, try to speak politely with little pauses, don’t shout and don’t repeat. By implementing these techniques you will notice that people will start giving you and what you say more attention.

Published in Dawn, Young World, June 22nd, 2019