Watching films like Whistle makes you lose your cool as a viewer. No one in their right mind will be able to digest director Ammad Azhar’s movie for two hours. Despite having senior TV actors Farhan Ally Agha and Sohail Sameer in the cast, this collaboration between the Mian and the Bakhshi (producers and music directors) should put an end to such substandard movies. Sadly, in Pakistan anyone with money can make a film and sell it to entertainment-deprived cinemas that screen these films to keep their machines working.

The title of the movie has nothing to do with the plot, if there is any. The film is a collection of badly-edited, badly-acted and badly-directed shots that would have made great (and late) film directors of Pakistan turn in their graves. Although the movie tackles the subject of narcotics, it doesn’t give the characters a chance to prove their mettle and form a connection with the audience. There are unnecessary drone shots of Islamabad that are used as inserts. And there’s no need for an item song Phuljari as it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Meanwhile the Pak-Afghan border is shown as a desert instead of a mountainous region.

The so-called plot revolves around the narcotics problem but only one package of it is shown for reasons better known to the film’s makers. It begins with a few enemy agents discussing plans to make Pakistan a haven for druggies. Stopping them is the aim of an unnamed agency headed by Farhan Ally Agha who trusts his main agent Sohail Sameer to foil the enemies. Sohail tries very hard to repeat the success of a TV show Code Name Red but fails because: a) he doesn’t get any support from his co-stars; and b) because he doesn’t look the part he is playing. He wears pointed shoes and shiny suits when he goes to arrest someone and casual clothes during a raid. His colleague is seen wearing sunglasses at night, that too in the interrogation room. The action sequences are even more forgettable.

The supporting cast comprises wannabe actors who wouldn’t be cast in a TV show, let alone a film. There are twists in the plot but they come after the audience is already bored to death.

Tatmain Ul Qalb (who played a law enforcement officer in Maalik) has the highest number of scenes as she plays a journalist, secret agent, an assassin, party girl, pregnant Afghan woman, teacher, painting enthusiast et al and does look good in some of those roles. The rest of the cast comprises wannabe actors who wouldn’t be cast in a TV show, let alone a film. There are twists in the plot but they come after the audience is already bored to death, especially after watching the item song and the badly-choreographed action sequences.

The worst thing about the film is its dialogue which is often too lengthy and vague. In one bit of dialogue a character says, “I don’t fear death as life tells me how to live.” Even Khalil Gibran would have been amazed at such philosophy. Then there is the sinister sound (which sound like Buhahahhaha) is also heard whenever any of the villains laughs.

It is high time for our cinema owners and distributors to come forward and start declining films that don’t have a cinematic feel or are just below average. The audience isn’t out there to be conned into buying a ticket of a Pakistani film just because it’s a Pakistani film. It is the cine-goers right to watch quality films, and it’s the only way that the ‘by-chance’ producers could be kept away from our cinema industry.

Published in Dawn, ICON, February 26th, 2017