Dear Auntie,
I am a Central Superior Services (CSS) aspirant from Larkana, currently living in Lahore to prepare for the exam. I share a room in a hostel with two friends — both are extremely polite and respectful towards me. Perhaps it is because I am older. Moreover, I reciprocate their respect.

However, one of them is very talkative. He spends a large amount of his time — as well as ours — talking to his family members over the phone, which I find very irritating and boring. Despite my having expressed my displeasure, there has been no change in his behaviour and I have to try very hard to exercise restraint. However, the situation is getting worse by the day and I don’t know whether I can put up with his behaviour anymore.

I have tried talking to him, asking him not to have long conversations on the phone in the room, but to no avail. Whenever I am studying or reviewing past papers, he is on the phone — sometimes for hours.

The painful part is that he is doing all this in the room, disturbing the other two of us and disrupting our study, for which we have travelled a long distance and are living far from our families. I am tired of his behaviour and, at the moment, I don’t know what to do. I would really appreciate your advice. 
Completely Upset

‘My Talkative Roommate is Disrupting My Studies’

Dear Completely Upset,
You are studying for a very competitive exam, so it is understandable that your friend spending hours on the phone is getting on your nerves. At the same time, you cannot expect him to stop speaking to his family.

The problem is not that he talks on the phone, it is that his calls are disturbing others who are sharing the room. Since you have already asked him to stop and nothing has changed, you should try a different approach.

Instead of telling him not to talk on the phone, try to set some basic rules for the room. For instance, how about asking him to go outside the room to talk when the call starts getting long. You could also suggest that, for certain hours of the day, the room stays completely quiet so everyone can focus on their studies.

Make sure the rules you set, and agree on, regarding the quiet hours apply to all of you who are sharing the room. It should not appear as if you are singling him out and objecting to his behaviour.

You might think his conversations are boring and irritating, but that doesn’t mean that his behaviour is deliberately inconsiderate. Sometimes people do not realise how much their ‘normal’ behaviour is affecting others, especially if he sees that you are wearing headphones and continuing to study while he talks.

If this does not work and your roommate doesn’t change his behaviour, you might have to contact the hostel administration or, if possible, request a room change. You have travelled to Lahore to study, so it is important that you protect your study time. But try not to let your irritation turn into a strong dislike of someone who, as you say, is otherwise a perfectly decent roommate.

The best solution in shared living situations is usually not to make the other person behave exactly as we want. Instead, it is better to find a compromise that allows everyone to live peacefully.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, October 11th, 2026