Dear Auntie,

I’m 13 years old and I recently joined a new O-Level school. I’m in the seventh grade now and still trying to settle in. It’s been hard because some of my classmates bother me and judge me, even though they don’t take part in physical training (PT) themselves. The boys in my class aren’t very friendly, and they seem to like the girl who judges people and does bad things. That makes it even harder to feel included.

I also love playing sports and I think I can play with the boys, but I’m not sure how to ask them to include me, without feeling awkward.

On top of that, I miss my best friend from my previous school a lot. We want to meet but her family doesn’t allow her to go to restaurants, visit friends’ houses or invite anyone over.

I really want to feel more confident and make new friends but I don’t know where to start. What should I do? I would be grateful if you could give some advice.

Thank you,

Hopeful Heart

Dear Hopeful Heart,

Starting a new school at your age can be a lonely experience, even if you are surrounded by your schoolmates all day. So, first of all, please know that nothing is ‘wrong’ with you. You just haven’t settled in yet. These things take time.

Also, for students your age, things like popularity and the behaviour of your peers are very important at this point. Sometimes, the mean person in class or the loud one gets a lot of attention, because other students are also trying to fit in themselves. Don’t take their behaviour as proof that you are unlikeable.

As for sports, if you truly like playing, it’s actually one of the best ways to make friends. You shouldn’t overthink how to approach them. Next time they’re playing, be casual and simply ask, “Can I join?” Say it casually, without making a big deal of it. For many things in life, you have to act a little braver than you actually feel.

And if someone says no or acts awkward, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try again at some other time. You build friendships slowly when you keep having small interactions.

It is very normal to miss your old friend. Sometimes, when you enter a new environment, you try to hold on to old comforts. Even if you can’t meet, you should stay connected with each other through calls or messages. Just because your school changes, it shouldn’t mean that your friendships end.

As for those you think are judging you, the fact is that the people who enjoy putting other people down usually aren’t as confident as they seem. Instead, you should focus on finding one or two kind friends, instead of a big group. So, please remember that confidence usually doesn’t come first. It is action that comes first and then confidence happens.

You are a thoughtful person. Such qualities matter a lot more in life than becoming instantly popular. Give yourself some time to settle into a new chapter.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately. Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, 31st, 2026