Illustration by Sarah Durrani
Illustration by Sarah Durrani

The Way We Weren’t
By Cliftonia Ali
Published by A Random Penguin
Pages: 32
Genre: Romance
Rating: 5 stars

Known for her brevity, Cliftonia Ali outdid herself this year with a stunning novella that tore apart societal conventions and then sewed them back again with a warp and weft that left readers wondering what the hell a warp was and why would anyone call anything a weft. This love story becomes a spy thriller from the get-go, as readers are taken on an action-packed, emotionally flatulent roller-coaster ride that leaves them nauseous and on the verge of tossing their cookies.

Excerpt:

“Her love for him was unquestioned. His love for her was questionable. It was this very equation that had driven a wedge between them and forced her to become a secret agent so that she could prove to him (as well as to her local Vigo dealership) what she was capable of. She had bought a one-way ticket to Gangetica and knew this could be the last time she would be travelling business class. Who knew what the future had in store for her? All she was certain of was that there was no one waiting for her at baggage claim and all that she considered valuable and worthy, she had left behind, frozen and in abeyance… like a freshly cut sirloin steak, wrapped tightly in a discarded amendment from the republic’s constitution.”

For Better Or For Verse
By Gen GHQ
Published by Heartbreak Hotel Press
Pages: 183
Genre: Poetry
Rating: 7 stars

No one could have said it better than noted essayist and critic Brig (forcibly retd) Babar ‘Bobby’ Niazi: “The skill with which language has been used in this outstanding collection leaves one mummified. The poet can not only rhyme at will but has the ability to disappear words and phrases, and can invent new meters that leave the reader in a poetic daze. I, for one, am flabbergasted at the multifarious offerings of a genius mind. The topics — from politics to love — that have been versed are uncountably innumerable and encapsulate human emotion in a way no other human has ever emotioned them.”

With 2025 coming to a close, we take a look at some of the best-selling works of fiction and poetry published in the Republic of Cliftonia this year

Excerpt:
Coup d’etat

“The fat cat
Sat on a mat
And that
Was that
For Anjum, the rat.”

Love Actually

“My heart exploded with joy, When she brought me a toy, I did my best to look coy, Oh, you naughty boy!”

The Constitutionalist

“Who goes there? Who goes where? Who goes here? Who goes everywhere? He goes there, He goes where, He goes here, He goes everywhere.”

The Spy Who Loved Me

She said she loved me,
And that was no lie,
I thought her heart was mine,
But she turned out to be a spy.

The Quantum Of Entanglement

By National Icon & Hope Nazir Jr
Published by Messiah & Saviour
Pages: 263
Genre: Action/Adventure
Rating: 5 stars

As one of the bestselling novelists of the Republic, National Icon & Hope Nazir Jr’s latest offering takes the reader on a fantastical tale of adventure, lust for power, revenge and mind-boggling phantasmagoria.

With a style that is simple yet self-entitled, the author takes us on a journey that uses words, paragraphs and entire chapters as gut-wrenching insults to make our eyes bleed. According to the author, a major Hollywood studio is interested in turning this thriller into a motion picture. The names of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling and Denzel Washington have nothing to do with the project and have only been added here to increase the word count of this book review.

Excerpt:

“He was very strong. He had big muscles. He had two biceps with tattoos. He was also very handsome. The women loved him. He was a soldier of love. Like Ethan Hunt and other Hollywood heroes. He was also an action man. Like Jason Bourne and other Hollywood heroes.

“One day when he was going home, he saw a big, bright, flashing light in the sky. What could it be, he wondered. As he was about to park the car to take a better look, the bright light shot a burst of invisible rays at him. Peew! Peew! It was very fast. It was faster than the sound of speed. But he was faster because he was a hero, and he knew best. He also knew more about the bright light than the bright light knew about itself. He dodged the invisible rays and ducked.

The rays went over his manly head and hit the tree behind him. Bam! Thwack! Boom! The tree fell. And then the earth crumbled. And soon after, the universe began to disintegrate. But he was still standing. Because he was the hero. Because he was very strong. Because he went to the gym every day.”

Farid Alvie was born. He currently lives.
He’s on Instagram @faridalvie

Published in Dawn, EOS, December 28th, 2025

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