THE thing about respect is that it has to be earned. It cannot be demanded at gunpoint (literally or figuratively) by issuing threats of punishment or by imposing draconian laws mandating respect. When it is so demanded, it is a dead giveaway that the agent or agency involved does not believe it deserves the respect that is being coerced.

At times this charade becomes pathetic as when those who have broken every rule in the book nevertheless evince a desperation to be thanked and respected. One would note that these individuals rarely have the conviction to make such claims on their own. Rather, they surround themselves with flunkies to reassure them repeatedly that they are dressed in finery when everyone else can see that they are actually naked. In such situations, those who pretend to respect them to curry favour forego their own respect.

It is a telling indicator of the way the world is evolving that we see more and more such individuals even in places that used to look down upon ‘disrespectful’ others. Gone are the days when there was value attached to being known for wisdom, piety, talent, intellect, honesty, or empathy.

People were greatly admired and respected for such attributes. All such aspirations have been decimated by the ideological domination of Homo Economicus. Now all that matters is being rich and powerful with no constraints on the means employed to achieve those ends. From the time when dishonest gains came with loss of societal respect we have arrived at a point where the honest are derided as simpletons even by members of their own families.

Earned respect is becoming a scarce commodity.

Growing up with such trends has been a depressing experience for many. Recall fondly the sight on television screens of smartly dressed young ball boys and ball girls scurrying efficiently across tennis courts. What a contrast it is to see grown-up men (and the occasional woman) grovelling to be allowed to carry balls while mafiosi who barely know how to wield a racket strut around the courts. All that just to occupy seats of dubious power which nevertheless enable the extraction and accumulation of riches.

And yet, despite, or perhaps because of, such compromises, the desire to be respected increases in proportion. And the fulfillment of such guilt-tinged desires inevitably assumes ostentatious forms. Many take recourse to exaggerated displays of piety with repeated visits to sacred sites or of public exhibitions of generosity by feeding the poor whose poverty they have no intention of eliminating. As a result, society becomes increasingly hypocritical with external piety hiding internal dissolution. Illegal deals are transacted below religious edicts adorning the walls. A rosary in hand elicits doubts and suspicions.

All this is folk wisdom today but a social scientist will caution that respect, like most other things, should not be viewed in a binary framework. Individuals have multiple facets and it is more than likely that the respect they merit varies quite markedly along different dimensions. There has been no lack of remarkable individuals with abominable views on issues like race and gender — just think of the luminaries with virulent antisemitic biases. And who doesn’t know of eminent scholars plagiarising and incredible sportsmen fixing matches while thanking the Almighty for His blessings.

What this means is that one should be nuanced in giving respect where respect is due even if it is grudging because of inconsistencies of character. There are countries that wo­­uld be well served by having their honchos fired, em­­pires slashed, boo­n­­­doggles elimina­t­­ed, cabinets (or wa-­­r­drobes as some­­-one very aptly cha­racterised them) trimmed, and bur­e­­­aucrats made accountable. Even if all this is done by a serial deviant, it would be a huge service to future generations for which a certain awed respect would be warranted in retrospect.

There is yet another dimension of respect that deserves attention. Human beings are often loath to confer respect on giants to whom they may be opposed for irrelevant reasons — politics, ideology, religion, ethnicity, or just jealousy — while fawning over pygmies in their own camps. The unbiased acknowledgement of merit with conferring of the respect due requires an openness of mind that is increasingly falling victim to tribalisation, with each tribe retreating into its private echo chamber.

We are living in a world dominated by accumulation in which earned res-pect is becoming a scarce commodity. Those who demand it are not respectable and those who offer it to them are not honourable. To vie for respect is to be shunned as quixotic.

The writer is the author of Social and Political Concerns in Pakistan and India, Lightstone Publications, 2023.

Published in Dawn, March 23rd, 2025