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UPON birth, we open our eyes and receive our initial nourishment from our family. As time goes by, we grow up in a family and get influenced by its environment. It provides us identity, support and security coupled with love and guidance.
A family is the basic unit of society. It consists of members bound together by bonds of blood. They live under one roof and eat from a single kitchen. Adult members assume the responsibility of caring for the children. They also help aging members cope with the challenges of advanced age.
For centuries, the family system has been deeply ingrained in our culture and it is often celebrated as a source of strength. The family has a crucial role in nation-building, therefore, it invests all its resources such as time, money and efforts in the development of children who are going to be responsible citizens of the country. They receive the initial training of patriotism, habit-formation, character-building, etc, from the family. It is within the family that one learns about norms, values and behaviour that are taught by religion and accepted in society. For smooth and harmonious living, these norms and values are essential. Their violation creates an imbalanced situation but in an orderly society, these values are rigorously imparted, followed and observed.
Modernisation has brought many challenges for families. People live in a fast and constantly changing world, where they move from one area to another quite frequently, meet different people of different backgrounds and sometimes inadvertently ignore family values. The lack of adherence to these values causes discord and dysfunction. Besides, the advent of the internet and widespread social media platforms also present major challenges to family values. We see a sustained slide in the observance of these values and in some areas, these have been badly dented. There is a gulf between family members, infighting over trivial issues. Above all, everyone has become egocentric.
Modernisation has brought challenges for families.
The Holy Quran warns believers to safeguard their families from hellfire. It says: “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded” (66:6).
All major religions have given us principles that remain profoundly applicable in modern times to live an enlightened family life. These principles include mutual love among family members, sacrifice for each other, peace through compromise and ethical behaviour in dealing with day-to-day affairs, intellectual and aesthetic pursuits and moderating destructive emotions and appetites.
The life of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) gives us fundamental principles that make our family strong and happy. He was the head of state in Madinah yet he never ignored his family. He used to share his time with his loved ones including his wives, grandsons and other relatives. In the initial period of his Makkan life, where the infidels used to persecute him and his life was under constant danger, his wife Bibi Khadijah and daughter Bibi Fatima were always there to provide him succour.
Enforcing certain values in family life is the need of hour. We must accept that the new generation is our most precious treasure and if we want to see them as strong pillars of future society then we should invest in them by inculcating positive values in our children. But what are such core values that need to be inculcated?
There is a long list of values that a family needs to instil in its children, but the major values include respect for every member of the family, especially the parents and seniors. The Holy Quran at many places asks believers to show respect and dignity to their parents. The children must realise how parents struggle for their development. If these values are meticulously practised, and the members have mutual respect and consult each other before taking important decisions, the family becomes strong, stable and prosperous.
Besides, it is but natural that every family has to face difficulties and combating them requires stamina. The family should teach its members how to cope with difficult situations and determine right from wrong in complex situations. The recent economic meltdown and skyrocketing prices of necessities has negatively impacted many families. Many families have lost their unity because of high inflation. The cases of frequent altercations and infighting among family members are reported daily. But in such a situation, the family unit should instil the good values of patience, hope and constant struggle in their members to help them cope, and become responsible citizens.
The writer is an educationist with an interest in religion.
Published in Dawn, April 5th, 2024
