Talking to a co-worker who’s been having a hard time

We all have bad days at work. But when a colleague is struggling for an extended period of time, how should you be supportive? Try to help them reflect on their feelings and what they need to move forward. (Note this works best when you and the person have a close relationship.) For example, you could get them talking by saying: “It seems like something has been bothering you. Can I help?” or “You’ve seemed stressed and preoccupied lately. Would you like to talk about what’s going on?” Be careful not to make the person feel judged. Don’t imply they already should have gotten over their problem, and avoid telling them how to feel. For example, don’t say: “You should stop worrying so much” or “You’re making too big a deal about this.” Keep in mind that bouncing back takes time — you can’t force someone to feel better. That said, helping a co-worker return to their normal self is usually worth a try.

(Adapted from “How to Talk with a Co-Worker Who’s Having a Tough Time,” by Deborah Grayson Riegel.)

When the future is unclear, help employees do good work every day

One of the greatest challenges of managing people is leading them through uncertain times. Maybe market conditions are changing, or it isn’t clear how your team fits into the C-suite’s strategy. Not having an obvious goal, or a clear way to reach it, can be really uncomfortable. You can help your team cope by telling them to focus on one thing: doing their jobs well. They may not know what the future holds, but they do know what their responsibilities are. Doing good work every day can give your team a sense of direction and alleviate some of their discomfort. You should also cultivate an atmosphere of open communication, which can create emotional steadiness. When there’s new information you can share about what’s going on, share it. Let your team know they can be honest about their emotions, and be honest about yours too — as long as it’s productive. Employees will take their cues from you, so project calm and avoid unhelpful stress-driven responses.

(Adapted from “Managing When the Future Is Unclear,” by Lisa Lai.)

Family businesses should embrace (some) conflict

Families that run companies often avoid conflict, worrying about how fighting could affect the business. But conflict is inevitable, and ignoring it can lead to disastrous consequences: limited growth, poor decision making and a loss of competitive advantage. A better approach is to reframe “fighting” (something volatile and uncomfortable) as “disagreeing” (something constructive and less uncomfortable). Disagreements give people space to express their views, consider new ones, and solve problems. In your next business meeting, encourage people to share points of view that clash with yours. Don’t take any tension personally; remind everyone that you all want what’s best for the business, and that disagreeing with each other is normal and healthy (as long as it’s done respectfully). As family members get more comfortable with disagreements, they’ll feel more able to bring up tough issues that need to be addressed. And they’ll see that a little conflict can make their bonds and the company even stronger.

(Adapted from “Why Family Businesses Need to Find the Right Level of Conflict,” by Josh Baron.)

Try being more confident at work

If you do great work but aren’t getting ahead, it could be because your contributions aren’t being recognised. Results don’t always speak for themselves, and management may not know all the reasons a great project was such a success. That’s why demonstrating confidence in your abilities can be great for your career. Make it a habit to communicate to your boss and other decision-makers that you are good at what you do, and to highlight specific examples of your work. Of course, you don’t want to brag or praise yourself at every opportunity — but don’t be too modest, either. There’s nothing wrong with honestly expressing your achievements to the people who need to be aware of them. If doing that feels unnatural, build your confidence by asking yourself: What am I good at? What are my greatest successes? Why am I valuable to the company?

(Adapted from “To Seem More Competent, Be More Confident,” by Jack Nasher.)

Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, May 20th, 2019