The best moment of the day comes when all family members gather and sit at the dining table together over lunch or dinner, and talk over everyday matters while having fun with some snacks or simply enjoy sipping a spot of tea in unison.

It’s 9pm. Everybody is home, sitting in front of each other at the dining table and talking about happy things that happened today. Occupying the head seat like a king, Papa appears to be the person in charge at the dining table as everyone is passionately listening to him, as if whatever he says matters the most. However, Guddu seems not to be enjoying the dinner, not at all.

A variety of food is placed on the table and is as delicious as always. Being the man of the moment, Papa is in a good mood as usual, relishing in every bite of his favourite curry with gusto. Mama, bhai jan, bhabhi and Shiza baji all are also having a good time, no doubt. But only Guddu seems to be the exception at the moment.

The reason of his displeasure is the formal seating arrangement that allows the eldest or the most senior family member in the house to sit at the seat at the head of the dining table, while the rest of the people, including Guddu, sit along the sides of the table. As seats are assigned according to each person’s age and rank in the family, Guddu believes this seating order must be revised because it is based on seniority not equality.

Enjoying their high ranks in the family, bhai jan and bhabhi sit side by side to the left of the head chair. Similarly, Mama sits on the first chair to the right of the head, Shiza baji sits next to Mama and Guddu finds himself being pushed into a corner, sitting at the end of the row because of him being the youngest in the family.

“Is it really the place I deserve?” Guddu questions himself time and again, but finds no satisfactory answer. He thinks everybody at home should have the right to sit at the head of the table one by one and this shouldn’t be only the prerogative of the most senior person of the family to always claim the head seat, better to say, a power seat, particularly when the entire family is sitting together.

“Mama, I have a question if you don’t mind me asking?” Guddu decides to get his mind clear of the unjustified seating arrangement that favours those who are the most senior in age.

“Yes, my son. What happened?” Mama replies with a sense of worry.

“Everything is fine Mama, but I don’t think that all men are equal,” Guddu comes to the point straight away.

“Of course, we all are created equal. Please tell me what made you think that way?” Mama seems surprised for the moment, but she knows Guddu is a kind of boy who takes little things too seriously.

“If we are created equal, then why don’t we treat all people the same way?” Guddu is now being a bit emotional.

“What happened, my son? Please explain what kind of inequality you are indicating at,” Mama looks quite worried now.

“Mama, please don’t take me wrong. I have full respect for elders and senior family members, but what beats me is the way the younger ones are pushed aside at the dining table. Can you help me understand why I cannot sit at the head seat? Is it only because I am not papa, the head of the house, and therefore I am destined to sit last in the row as I am the youngest in the house? So is it not clear that the principle of human equality is not applied at the dining table?” Guddu calls a spade a spade, though his question may sound quite odd to the casual observer.

“It is not that way, not at all,” says Mama.

“It simply suggests how we tend to give respect to our elders and to our senior family members. Haven’t you noticed that whenever grandma visits our home, your papa invites her to take the head seat of the table and he too sits on the side chair with us? This is just because grandma happens to be the most senior person at home at that moment, and it is just a basic gesture of respect and love we show for any of our elders.”

“I agree, Mama. But why don’t elders give us an opportunity to lead from the front by making us take the head seat in the dining room? It wouldn’t be a big deal, I think. I am sure that unless I am able to sit at the head, I can never become the life and soul of the party, someone who is worth listening to, or someone who steals the show and makes others turn their heads to look at him again and talk to him,” Guddu elaborates the advantages of sitting at the head, the power seat.

“No, honey, this is not a right way of thinking. This is not the table’s head seat, but your papa’s vast knowledge, lifelong experience and practical thinking makes us seek his advice.

“Instead of being the person in charge at the dining table, he happens to be a man who is really helpful, supportive and caring, and goes to every possible extent to facilitate our lives. Isn’t his presence a real blessing for all of us? Doesn’t he deserve to sit at the head seat, my dear Guddu?” Mama shows him the picture he is not able to see himself.

Guddu thinks he knows much about the world, has grown up enough to offer valuable advice to people and has all that it takes to claim the head seat at the dining table.

Guddu loves surprises and but there is a much bigger surprise waiting for him at home. Papa brought home a new dining table today. The glass-topped table is round in shape and every seat happens to be a head seat, positioning Guddu in a win-win situation.

“Wow,” shouts Guddu, as he can now enjoy the same amount of table territory as occupied by the rest of the family members, including Papa.

It’s dinner time. Everybody is home, sitting in front of each other at the new dining table and enjoying dinner while talking about happy things that occurred today. Interestingly, Papa is no more occupying the head seat like a king and everybody is sitting at equal distance from each other. However, much to Guddu’s surprise, Papa looks to be the person in charge again. Everyone is listening to him carefully, paying attention to his words of advice, caution and wisdom.

Guddu is also taking an active part in the discussion, but he soon realises the fact that papa does not require a particular seat to claim his authority because his ability, rich experience and foresight involuntarily makes him the centre of attention, no matter where he is sitting at the dining table.

Though a round dining table does not come with a designated head seat, in reality, the head seat is where papa sits down. Having a noticeable smile on his face, Guddu looks towards Mama and flicks his eyelids in silent affirmation that he has finally got the answer.

Published in Dawn, Young World, August 25th, 2018

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