Dear Auntie
I am a 15-year-old girl and I have very different ambitions. I actually want to help people and I want to take this up seriously and professionally. As I am in my last year of O’ levels, I want to directly jump in my career as a helper after completing O’ levels. I want to continue my studies, but being a doctor or a teacher is not my type of career! The problem is that my family and friends are not really supportive because they say that this field is not financially stable, but I can’t explain that money is not everything and I feel an inner-satisfaction when I make someone happy. Please tell me how to convince my family and tell me anyway how to do this professionally. Please!
Passionate Helper

Dear Compassionate Being,
Thank you for listening to the voice of your heart and not following the pack. It seems that you are quite clear about what it is that you want to do from a very young age. So congratulations! The world could do with more people like you.

And yes please, do continue with your education. You don’t have to be a doctor or a teacher. In fact, you can pretty much pursue any degree that you want. Just start volunteering for philanthropic activities that interest you. There are probably many opportunities in your city to do this and it will give you the chance to network and get to know people in the development sector, which seems to be the direction you are heading in.

Also, it is not true that the development sector is financially unstable. Many people who work for established non-profits draw decent salaries. You may not end up making as much as someone in top management in a multinational company, but you will be able to make quite a decent living. You also say that money is really not your pull, so this should be okay for you. As long as your needs are met, you sound like you will be satisfied.  

So get out there and volunteer, get to know others who are on a mission to change the world, and continue with your education. That should propel you in the direction of your future philanthropic career.

Dearest Aunt,
My marriage got terminated a long time ago. But I am hoping I will come across the right person sooner or later. Also I don’t have any children, and I don’t intend on having any with my future husband either. Hope this makes sense. By the way, your column is really good.

Keep up the good advice.
Looking for Love   Dear Focus on Self,
Thank you for the appreciation. Auntie tries.

None of what you have said about yourself in your letter is a deterrent to coming across the right partner. A lot of people marry the wrong person; get a divorce and move on to find someone else. It is actually becoming quite common. A lot of people also just know they don’t want children (and it is great that you realise this, instead of becoming an uninvolved and negligent parent), so I am sure there is someone else out there who doesn’t want kids and who is probably a good match for you. Being clear about what you want is half the work really.

In the meantime, I hope you are doing something productive with your life, other than looking for a life partner. Are you working? Studying? Improving your skills in some other way? Improving yourself? Please don’t do anything with a view to nabbing the ‘right partner.’ That strategy will likely backfire and add to your problems. You should improve yourself because that is what all of us should be doing, only because we love ourselves.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, July 22nd, 2018