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Memories: When a beloved passes away

January 13, 2018

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You say goodbye to someone with the hope to meet them again someday. But what if that day never comes?

One of the biggest drawbacks of meeting someone is the dreaded thought of being separated from them — not miles away or being oceans apart — but the world being void of their existence.

You never know when it is the last time you’re meeting someone whom you dearly love, whether it is a family member or a friend. In just a matter of seconds, the person in front of you, is a world apart.

We relentlessly cry when our loved ones pass away. All of us do, no matter how tough we try to look in front of others, but on the inside, we’re broken. And it’s okay. It’s only natural.

Who would bear to spend the rest of their lives without being with the ones they adore? No one would. We can still feel them smiling in front of us, laughing while cracking jokes, giving us a pat on our head, scolding us, or just simply being there. And it hurts. It stings to not be able to see them anymore, or talk to them or hug them.

We never know if the person we didn’t treat well in the past will be the person we’ll be crying over when they leave this world. They don’t have to be someone we knew our whole life or who we met just yesterday. It can be anyone.

Once they’re gone, we’ll not be able to meet them in this life. And we can’t do anything about it. No one can do anything about it.

The only thing we can do is to pray. Pray to Him, ask Him to keep them happy in whatever place they are, ask Him to forgive their sins, ask Him to give them the highest place in Jannah.

We’ll cry today, tomorrow, the next day or for weeks, but the day will come when we’ll stop crying. Not that we stopped missing them, but because we have patience. The pain doesn’t go away, only the tears just don’t flow that often.

Don’t be sad or stop smiling or change because someone is no more. Come to think of it, would the people who are no longer with us, let us do that? If they were alive, would they ever want us to be miserable like this?

No! No one would want that to happen. Just imagine how unhappy they’d be if they saw us being like this. Just live life the way they wished it to be. Smile, be happy and don’t forget to laugh the way we have always done, accomplish our dreams, not only for our sake, but also theirs.

The natural thing others do is to say sorry to people who have lost a loved one. We don’t know what they’re going through at that time. Having experienced such a loss myself recently, I’ve realised that a simple sorry isn’t enough. It never is.

My maternal grandmother was a very kind and calm person. She was very caring. She looked after me when my mum wasn’t around and fed me good amount of food. She was really close to me, my best friend actually. Her smile was so beautiful, it seemed like a star shining bright. She passed away on December 4, 2017.

It was the first time someone very dear parted from us forever. There were many tears. It feels just like yesterday when I was joking around with her and tying her braid. It is extremely hard to believe that she is now gone, but what I know is that she’s in a better place, safe and sound.

Of course I miss her a lot, I want to hug her, tell her how much I love her, miss her, how cute as a button and precious she was. And I believe that one day, in another world, I will be able to hug her and say all those things to her.

All of us know that this world is just a place where we spend a little time. Everyone has to go, sooner or later. The afterlife is our actual destination. That’s the fate for all of us.

Being separated is indeed very painful but the belief that with the Mercy of the Almighty, we will meet them one day is what eases the pain. It’s just a parting till we meet again, Insha Allah!

Published in Dawn, Young World, January 13th, 2018