To keep an argument from escalating, get some perspective

Psychologists have found that people use better reasoning strategies when they distance themselves from how they currently feel and consider what a situation means in the long run. So the next time you disagree with a colleague, try to see the conflict from a third-person perspective. What would someone outside the situation say about your disagreement? Or think about how you’ll feel about the conflict in a week, a month or a year. Considering the future encourages

you to step away from the present moment, which may be full of negative emotions, and helps you put the situation in context.

(Adapted from To Defuse an Argument, Think About the Future, by Alex C. Huynh)

Ask yourself two questions to help prioritise your work

If you work for a hands-off manager who doesn’t give you a tonne of guidance, it falls on you to set priorities for your work. You can focus on the right things by asking yourself two questions: “What is my highest contribution?” Consider the organisation’s needs and your unique experience and capabilities. But don’t only focus on what you’re good at. Also ask yourself: “What am I passionate about?” Think about the projects you find most inspiring and where you’re able to make the most impact. The goal is to prioritise those activities and initiatives that show up on both your high-contribution and high-passion lists, while delegating or saying no to the daily churn of low-value and low-energy-producing activities.

(Adapted from How to Prioritise Your Work When Your Manager Doesn’t, by Amy Jen Su)

Use empathy to improve your next meeting

Improving meetings isn’t just about inviting the right people and being prepared. You also need to employ empathy, an emotional intelligence competency that can help you better manage discussions. Empathy allows you to read people: Who is supporting whom? Who is coasting? Where is the resistance? Carefully reading people will also help you understand the conflicts in the group so that you can manage the power dynamics. You may think these sorts of politics are unimportant, but power matters — and it plays out in meetings. Learning to read how the flow of power is moving and shifting can help you lead the group.

(Adapted from the Harvard Business Review Emotional Intelligence series)

If you can’t help a colleague, explain why

Turning down a request from a colleague or a boss can be difficult. But saying no doesn’t have to seem like a personal affront. Have empathy for the situation your co-worker is in — now he may have to find the extra time to do the task, or ask someone else to take it on. The ‘no’ will be much easier for your colleague to accept (and harder to object to) if you provide a clear but short explanation for why you can’t do what you’ve been asked to. You might already have too much on your plate, or feel that you can’t do the task well. Whatever the reason, be honest, polite and straightforward.

(Adapted from HBR’s Best on Saying No to More Work, by Amy Gallo)

Leaders don’t have to be isolated

If you’re a senior executive, there’s a good chance you’re out of touch. Having a layer of handlers who decide what you should or shouldn’t see may save you time, but it also keeps you isolated and disconnected. And if you don’t have firsthand information about your employees and customers, you’re unlikely to make the best decisions. So get out of your bubble. Do a stint on the front line — answering customer service calls or handling a key client — so you get direct exposure to lower-level employees and the people who buy your products. Consider instituting skip-level meetings, where you can talk with lower-level teams. In all settings, encourage people to challenge your thinking instead of just saying what you want to hear.

(Adapted from How to Overcome Executive Isolation, by Ron Ashkenas)

Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, June 5th, 2017