Released 12 years after the last installment in the franchise, xXx: State of the Union (2005), and 15 years after the first and only other one starring Vin Diesel, xXx (2002), Return of Xander Cage doesn’t even care for continuity by ignoring the fact that its hero had been pronounced dead in xXx: State of the Union. This, of course, is the least of the film’s problems as far as the narrative is concerned.

To enjoy overproduced action films such as this you usually have to check your brain in at the door before walking into the theatre. But the mindlessness here is difficult to ignore. To begin with, the shallow plot, which the film takes too seriously — seems to have been written by a child recovering from a bad fall.

The film features Samuel L. Jackson who, at one point, had overtaken Harrison Ford as the world’s highest-grossing actor and will probably do so again soon with Ford nearing retirement. This shows just how he achieved that record — by grabbing small roles in mediocre films destined for box office gold. Here he plays Augustus Gibbons, an NSA operative who shapes the xXx program, which counters terrorists with agents who happen to be world-famous athletes with extreme skills. In the beginning of the film he seems to have been killed alongside his newest recruit, who amusingly enough is Brazilian football star Neymar Jr.

The two are taken out by a crashing satellite that malfunctioned because of a device called the Pandora’s Box. A crazy team of four terrorists led by Xiang (Donnie Yen) have stolen Pandora’s Box from the CIA, prompting Jane Marke, who is played by Toni Collette (hey, award-winning actors need their action-movie paychecks too) to seek out the services of Xander Cage (Vin Diesel).

Xander recruits his own extreme team, and they soon come across Xiang’s group, where Return of Xander Cage takes a rather predictable twist. Soon, we are treated to one skilfully-shot and over-the-top action sequence after another. Many of them are entertaining, but they gradually grow dull due to the sheer volume, until you are left wishing for the film to end well before it is over.

Return of Xander Cage features plenty of international talent aside from martial arts star Donny Yen. This includes Thai martial artist Tony Jaa (Talon), Bollywood star Deepika Padukone (Serena Unger), British UFC MMA fighter Michael Bisping (Hawk), Canadian-Chinese pop star Kris Wu (DJ Harvard ‘Nicks’ Zhou) and young Australian entertainer Ruby Rose (Adele Wolff). Unfortunately, the film gives them little to work with in terms of dialogue or characterisation. What’s more, the fighting sequences involving the martial artists are disappointing to watch because of choppy editing.

As far as the main star Vin Diesel is concerned, it is a disappointing return for Xander Cage. He isn’t particularly likable in this outing and there is little to differentiate his character from his Fast and Furious role. Meanwhile, Samuel L. Jackson’s character follows a similar arc to his role in The Avengers franchise. It’s too bad the rest of the film isn’t very original either.

MPAA: rated PG-13 for extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material and language

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, February 12th, 2017