A positive attitude towards life helps in changing things towards positivity, undoing the habit of negativity

CRITICISM tests our patience. However, it might be upsetting sometimes. Teachers may criticise students for an average academic performance. Parents may demand of their offspring to be extra-civil. Most of the times, the critique is hard to swallow. But the real catastrophe begins when we self-criticise and do not accept the man in the mirror. The key is to sit on the couch, take a deep breath and start being gentle with yourself.

Being harsh to one’s self is bad. This habit starts when we look for improvement by being hard on ourselves. No doubt, progressiveness is needed, but, the difference between self-censure and self-motivation should be kept in mind.

The way we treat ourselves matters. It determines the level of self-confidence. Being gentle with ourself leads the way to courage, the courage to accept one’s mistakes and learn from them. It’s practically impossible to be a perfect being. It’s not possible to always fit in.

Your optimum potential can be realised by being kind to yourself. It defuses the tension and worries that build up due to self-criticism. It’s not plausible to push yourself to achieve the criteria of success set by peers, friends, siblings or anyone else.

Being gentle with yourself sheds away the fear of failure. It fortifies the belief that in case of failure, you’d not victimise yourself. Self-victimisation holds back all possible chances of improvement. The victim keeps grappling with the fear of criticism instead of working for the good.

Self-gentleness expands your comfort zone. It makes the most difficult of things easier. For example, if you’re to deliver a speech or a presentation before a large audience, you don’t feel confused mainly because in pursuit of excellence, you kill the uneasiness generated by self-disapproval.

Tenderness begets tenderness. If you’re tender to yourself, it would be easy to be the same with the people you come across in daily life. You learn to be tolerant, paving the way for peaceful coexistence.

If you treat yourself well, it results in your peace of mind. Say, you don’t snub yourself for having a dark complexion, ordinary looks, or being short, as all these things have little value. This makes you focus on more important things such as academics, sports, self-grooming more effectively.

Decision-making becomes easy with self-generosity. Past decisions that were not favourable to you don’t hurt you anymore. You address weaknesses and threats as they actually are, without an iota of regret. As they say, ‘Every day is a new day’.

Open-mindedness springs from kindness to the self. You don’t ignore your talents just because others overlook or underrate them. Anybody can be cool and popular and so can you. If you pamper yourself from time to time, it makes up for a timely relief from the challenges of life. This habit renews self-worth. Say, if underperformance at school makes you feel down, switching on the all-is-not-over-mood illuminates hope.

Such a positive attitude towards life also helps in changing things towards positivity, undoing the habit of negativity. It’s never late to mend.

The pith and marrow of the matter is that being kind to yourself has many benefits, both spiritual and material. If you make it a habit, it will relieve you from many unnecessary pains and problems.