Keeping up with the Joneses

Tazeen Javed Published March 24, 2009

Blogger Tazeen Javed returns to the Dawn Blog to provide a weekly dose of satire.

If analyses and common sense are to be believed, the world is facing a financial mess because people spent more wealth than they created. Then they thought that if they put off payments for some time, they would just vanish into thin air. The tragedy is that none of the debts vanished into thin air and all those deferred payments finally caught up with us.

While there are some who have tightened their belts and cancelled those dreaded shiny plastic cards that promised the earth, the moon and more, there are others who continue to spend as lavishly as they previously did, with no regards to an economy in the toilet. They not only want to keep up with Joneses, they want to leave them far, far behind.

Going to the numerous lawn – the summery cotton fabric preferred by ladies in Pakistan – exhibitions in the city, you could have thought that the financial crunch is nothing but a figment of someone’s imagination. The number of exhibitions has gone up, the number of designers coming up with their wares has gone up, and the volume of cloth being sold has definitely gone up. I encountered women who flew in to Karachi from Larkana and Quetta to buy the desired cloth at one of the exhibitions.

Just step out of your house and you will see cars that are bigger, shinier and faster than anything you have seen before. There are times when all you see are Sports Utility Vehicles (SUV) on the roads. Plying those huge monstrosities on the congested Karachi roads borders on cruelty, yet people keep on doing it to show off that they can afford a huge, fuel-guzzling vehicle – the economic, social and environmental fallouts are usually ignored. Granted that most of them are bought with pubic funds as is painfully obvious by their green government number plates, but one must admit that to justify such excesses in times like this would take some earth-shattering logic and creative accounting on part of the government officials. To spend our tax money to buy vehicles to transport the ample selves of numerous begum sahibas and secretary sahibs must call for some extraordinary skills.

As if SUVs in general and Hummers in particular were not bad enough, a family in Germany has bought a six-tonne armoured tank to use for shopping and day trips. The tank is armed with a disabled 30mm gun and has three-inch thick armour plating. The owner Joachim Schoeneich has even fitted a baby seat to the British-built Fox tank for his toddler son Paul and is only concerned about finding the right parking space for his abnormal mode of transportation . Have the executives at the military industry gone completely bonkers? They are selling a battle tank for £24,000! That’s cheaper than a Lamborghini. They have been selling Hummers for quite some time, and now comes the tank – guess what will follow this? Will they start selling mini versions of rockets that children can hop on, like a witch’s broom, to get to school? Are we looking into a future where the rich and environmentally unaware would take thrill trips in F-16 fighter jets to impress ladies? One must feel sorry for Schoeneich’s two year old son, Paul. If daddy has bought a tank for shopping and day trips, the poor kid will probably have to buy a space ship to go work.

Tazeen Javed has lived most of her life in Karachi; so far no one has asked her to leave. She has worked as a journalist, teacher, salesperson, activist, tour guide, election observer, fruit vendor, copy writer and television producer in the past. She has wizened up since then and now only works for a living. She blogs at http://tazeen-tazeen.blogspot.com and can be contacted at tazeen@alumni.manchester.ac.uk

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Tazeen Javed has lived most of her life in Karachi; she now lives elsewhere and misses Karachi. She has worked as a journalist, teacher, salesperson, activist, tour guide, election observer, fruit vendor, copy writer and television producer in the past.

She has wizened up since then and now only works for a living. She tweets at @tazeen

Suleman Maniya,Goteborg,Sweden

Mar 28, 2009 06:59pm

Well Khalid Best of Luck! Firstly all such protocol cars should be taken off the roads but we need to do something more than just speaking up.We also need to pay in kind. We need to mention these people by name who break these laws and ostracise them from society. No one should arrange any dinners etc for these law breakers but our society doesnt have the courage to do it. We like to respect the corrupt and look down on the law abiding citizen. What are the courts doing since we have an emancipated Chief Justice , why cant they take suo moto action when they read about such. Maybe their privileges would vanish!

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Khaled

Mar 27, 2009 11:59am

Last week, a sarkari SUV with a green number plate slammed into my car. Turned out that a bureaucrat's underage son was driving it. I tried hard to get an FIR registered but police refuse to register it with a sarkari number plate - even though it was being driven by an under age kid. But i am still at it and will get it done.

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Mar 25, 2009 01:52pm

Samir, I do think it was a disappointing effort from the author to deride the financial crisis without substantial corroboration. On the same note, I think what she really wants us to get out of the article is the irony of Pakistan's internal financial scene, fortunately insulated so far, which demands sensitivity. For instance refugees from FATA protesting for their basic rights, and for the government to provide those requires money. Money that could have been saved if not spent on gas-guzzling expensive vehicles and wealth that could be distributed more evenly among the people of our deprived nation. Ladies from Quetta and Larkana could have reduced their spending for some time and use the money to help those who are in need. Remember we are not talking about any other region in the world, its happening next door to us.

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jawad chughtai

Mar 25, 2009 10:06am

its a wonderful article with some stupid facts but the idea is well conveyed it seems that money is floating in streets of karachi and one cant stop thinking "where is this money coming from?"

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Mars

Mar 25, 2009 10:18am

lol...many of your observations are sad..but true. Spaceship for Schoenich jr. indeed!!

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Zaheer

Mar 24, 2009 08:46pm

We should spend according to our need not according to our desire.

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samir

Mar 24, 2009 09:37pm

Dear Ms. Javed, Unlike many other journalists/opinion-holders in this country, you write pretty well. More importantly, you write often. But that doesn't mean you can write about everything under the sun without first caring to figure out what you are going to write about. The ironies that intrigue you in this article, for example, presume that global financial crisis should affect consumption patterns in Pakistan and that a German family buying an armoured tank is somehow reflective of a consumption pattern in Europe (and perhaps US as well). If you had done a bit of research, you'd have figured out in less than half an hour that both of them are entirely rubbish presumptions, produced by an arbitrary juxtaposition of facts in your mind. No doubt, Pakistan is an economic basket case but, unfortunately, it is yet to be affected by the global financial crisis. On the other hand, Europe is in deep trouble because of the crisis. Think about it, why would the German guy buy a tank if he could have afford a Lamborghini?! I hope I am just being a responsive reader. Also, I hope you'd write with greater care in future.

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Sukaina

Mar 25, 2009 06:37am

what a stupid article.

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Zanobia

Mar 25, 2009 08:28am

Nice blog! Not only are the green number-plate walas using our tax money but they are also fully utilising the IMF loans. Oh how they were making list of things to buy when the loan was approved. People have become greedier and desensitised as we enter the more advanced and mechanised space age.

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Kamran

Mar 25, 2009 12:23pm

Cann't agree more with Samir here

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GP-South America

Mar 25, 2009 01:03pm

Most Pakistanis living in Pakistan have their heads buried in the sand, they are arrogant, full of hubris, gluttons like no tomorrow, live in the past, act without thinking, without any self-discipline, self-centered, pretentious, envious. their attitude of 'must have' without reason is appalling, their driving habits are atrocious, talk trivial most of the time, short tempered, have no notion, how to conserve and save, eager to copy for their WANTS without limiting their needs. do not appreciate any constructive criticism, punctuality beyond their watches, and I can list another dozen things or more. They need to become humble and make good use of their God given resources. Handouts,charities and gifts are never FREE. Prayers alone don't work, must accompany hard work along with it.

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Khurram

Mar 25, 2009 01:41pm

Samir, no economy in the world (except Afghanistan, perhaps, and I can't substantiate that) has been left unaffected by the global economic meltdown. If the great consumer economies don't consume, the puny producer economies (Pakistan included) can't sell, and therefore are affected. Okay, so we didn't invest in MBS and CDS. so we're bitten a little late. But bitten we are. Tazeen's blog doesn't always have to be factually correct. She's making a point (and trying to be cheeky while doing it so people won't get miffed), that despite an economic crisis, some people keep on spending, especially if its other people's money (in this case YOU, the tax payer's). I think the point she was trying to make by citing the tank example was not whether a Lamborghini is costlier or cheaper than a tank, but that SOME European and US consumers continue to make dumb decisions. Oh, I know its his "democratic" right, but buying a tank (or even a Hummer) is still a dumb decision. And some Pakistani consumers act just as dumb. Dude, the point is, the country's in a bind. Can't these secretaries and begums put a lid on it just once?

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Ajay Mishra

Mar 25, 2009 06:40pm

Nice blog..I liked the cheekiness in the last stanza..Hope the launch of Tata Nano changes things :)

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Mawali

Mar 26, 2009 11:22am

I guess your point in a round about way is that people in general spend more than they can afford. On its own merit a valid point. However, consider this in an economy driven by comsumer spending e.g., the US, the lack of spending then becomes the cause for a sagging economy. Spending money is a good thing, using the credit card without money in the bank perhaps not a good thing. Speaking for myself I can't wait for people to come back and start filling up the mall parking lots and buy anything from a toy tank to a toy space ship. It works!

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Guptan Veemboor

Mar 26, 2009 12:33pm

Nice article. Humorous. I like it. In such articles if there is some minor factual mistakes it need not be taken as serious ones. It conveys the idea. But the thing is that Asia has not been affected to that extant like US and Europe as per reports. It will be delayed once the market there tightens and the exports from East reduces. As far as the Green Boards carrying memsahibs in Karachi, it is the same as in Delhi. It will not stop even if the whole world is starving.

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