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Cat tales: Happy mew year

January 12, 2013

Believe it or not, we also want to begin the New Year as good cats by embarking on a programme of self-improvement just like you humans do. Or shall I say that being cats, we wish to further refine ourselves.

I have drawn a list of the things that I will try to accomplish this year without any ‘pro-cat-rination’, so here it goes:

I promise to lose weight

I have been told many times that I am fat and tubby and ‘Oh so cute’! But let me tell you honestly that it does not make me very happy to know that I am growing out of my beautiful feline shape. Also I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but my leaps and jumps have become just a little bit clumsy.

Although being bigger means there is more of me to love and cuddle, maybe I need to control my snacks a little and try and lose a bit of weight. So if my human resolves to play more and get my a few toys to chase around, we can both make my first New Year resolution come true.

I’ll be friendly to strangers

I won’t be rude and stare at guests in the house. Instead I’ll give them a chance to scratch my ears, and molly-coddle me before disappearing under the bed where no one can find me. Seriously, I have doubts about this resolution materialising but I promise to try, however, the neighbour’s dog is an exception to this rule.

I’ll be more loving to my family

I’ll purr more and be more loving and affectionate to my human and the rest of my family. I will not meow loudly when my kibbles dish is empty, nor if my food is too cold or too hot or not exactly what I want.

I will not be arrogant when they want me to clown around or to show them a few tricks on request. I will not kick any important fallen objects like keys and tiny pieces of jewellery under the couch. I will not scramble out of their laps and hugs when they need me to hang on to them and purr.

I’ll be nicer to birds

I’ll be really sweet to them as long as they come a fluff their feathers right in front of me so I can make an evil face and threaten to paw them, claw them and eat them. They know for sure that it is just an attitude thing for me and I will not actually kill them because I don’t need to. I am a domestic cat with bowls full of bounty and have no real desire to hunt.

I will be less fussy about my food

As long as it is prime steak, chicken or freshly cooked tuna and shrimp and comes as platters, I will not crib and complain. I will not waste it as long as it is the right texture, temperature and taste and served many times a day.

I will not scratch the furniture

I will give the scratching post more respect and leave the rugs and sofas for once and not scratch them which usually drives my human up the wall.

I’ll let everyone sleep

I guess it is a little too early to wake people at five or six in the morning, especially on the weekend for my breakfast. I love to jump on the bed, walk around the pillow or sit on top my human and demand food. When they cleverly shut the door to avoid my early morning pounce, I promise not to scratch it until they wake up. I suppose I will give them half hour more.

No jumping up on the kitchen counter

My human hates it when I jump up on the counters in the kitchen. But I do love to sniff around them and the dining table when no one is there. They don’t understand the pleasure of discovering the odd scrap of food. It is my paw prints that get me caught, so either cleaner paws or no more sneak trips.