MANILA: Australia’s foreign minister crooned “What the World Needs Now is Love”, his Japanese counterpart took to the stage dressed as a samurai warrior and the Chinese delegation danced.

But the Americans took the easy route, getting professional Filipino singers to represent them in a closed-door cabaret held on Wednesday night on the eve of Asia-Pacific’s biggest security meeting, held this year in Manila, participants said.

The Japanese toned it down from last year’s performance about a pandemic of giant furry frogs, sending their delegates out instead in jogging pants for a skit about “Taro’s Boot Camp”, named for their foreign minister.

Taro Aso rounded off their show, which also featured a sumo wrestling loincloth, appearing in warrior garb and face paint.

Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov parodied the plethora of meetings held at the Association of Southeast Asian Nations annual security meeting, wondering why he had to attend something that was all, “blah, blah, blah”.

Conscious of the Philippines’ love of schmaltz, Canada’s deputy foreign minister, Leonard Edwards, sang compatriot Celine Dion’s hit “My Heart Will Go On”, while New Zealand, led by their foreign minister Winston Peters, upped the tribal beat with a Maori dance.

Australia played to the regional crowd with foreign minister Alexander Downer substituting the lyrics of the love song to say, “What the World Needs Now is Asean and Free Trade.”

The Chinese delegation came on as a dance troupe in traditional costume.—Reuters

Opinion

Editorial

A difficult story
Updated 12 Jun, 2026

A difficult story

Unless productivity becomes the dominant target of economic policy, Pakistan will continue to oscillate between crises and fragile recovery.
Rough waters
12 Jun, 2026

Rough waters

AMONGST the key potential triggers for fresh conflict in South Asia is water. The Indian state is behaving in an...
Politicised football
12 Jun, 2026

Politicised football

ALMOST three-and-half years since Lionel Messi led Argentina to FIFA World Cup glory, the latest edition of...
GB polls’ aftermath
Updated 11 Jun, 2026

GB polls’ aftermath

The new administration must address the region’s issues proactively.
Peace in retreat
11 Jun, 2026

Peace in retreat

THE ceasefire announced in April was supposed to create space for negotiations. Instead, it has been repeatedly...
A few good men
11 Jun, 2026

A few good men

IT was a brave move, no doubt. This Tuesday, in the land of the Afghan Taliban, a few good men decided to take a...