Dear Auntie,
I am 17. My eldest sister is in medical college and my other two siblings are in a cadet college. So, our educational expenditures are endless.

My father is 51 and only studied till high school. He used to run a family business and a factory, but he lost the factory in 2021 during Covid. Since then, he has not had a stable job or business. Instead, he saw an advertisement for a stockbroker on Facebook. He trusts Facebook blindly but refuses to trust anything I say, even though I do thorough research. I explained to him so many times that stock investing is not a reliable way to generate a steady monthly income and pleaded with him to start a side business for steady cash flow. He scolded me for “trying to teach him.”

Now, due to poor investments and global geopolitics, he has lost over three million rupees out of 12 million. Our only steady source of income right now is a small rental property. Our house is full of stress.

I have educated myself on financial management through books and have tried to share this knowledge with my parents. But because I am their son, they dismiss me as a “lowlife” with no authority to speak.

Whenever I find big scholarships or international opportunities (since my dream is to go abroad for my bachelor’s degree), they discourage me without doing any research. They dismiss these opportunities as “scams” or tell me that I am simply not good enough.

I cannot sit back and watch my dreams be sacrificed because of their ego.

The Sinking Sailor

Dear Sinking Sailor,

So, you cannot change your parents, but you also cannot completely dismiss them. I know you are frustrated and understandably so. Watching your father make risky decisions and refuse to listen to reason is painful. But you have to understand that your parents are not simply acting out of ignorance. Their actions are shaped by experience — losing a business and losing money can make anyone cling to decisions that feel within their control.

In Pakistan, our parents carry the weight of the family. When you try to correct your father, even with the best of intentions, he sees it as a challenge to that authority. So, while you cannot change him by arguing, you should also avoid falling into the trap of thinking that everything he says is wrong.

Your parents’ concerns about stability and scams are not completely baseless. It is just that they express them in ways that shut you down, because deep down they fear for your future.

You will need to change your approach. Stop trying to ‘teach’ your father. Instead, listen more and speak less. Frame things with respect. Try asking for his advice, involving him in your thinking and presenting your plans as something you want his guidance on.

Focus on your academics, research scholarships and prepare for tests, but remember that you don’t need to announce every step at home. When the time comes, bring them something concrete like an admission letter or a scholarship offer.

As for your father’s financial decisions, just step back unless he asks you for help. The household responsibilities are not yours to carry. So, for now, stay in your lane. Respect your parents while trying to understand where they are coming from. But don’t let their limitations become your limits.

You are not a sinking sailor.

Published in Dawn, EOS, April 12th, 2026