Hello Auntie, 
I worked really hard for my Advanced Level (A-Level) exams. What I mean by hard work is studying 12 hours per day, and I even studied for 19 hours on a few days. I was always in the library studying and I didn’t even visit my school café in order to save time to study. I also reduced my social circle to just one friend.

I worked really, really hard. However, in the end, I didn’t get the result I wanted, and those who studied less scored more than me. Even after 20 days, I can’t forget it and move on.

Honestly, what should I do? Should I continue to work hard? Or should I just give up on my dream? I’ve been told by many people that so much hard work is really not required and I must relax, for instance, study for two hours maximum. However, I believe they are misguiding me. Please guide me.
Dreamer

‘My Hard Work Seems Wasted. Should I Give Up?’

Dear Dreamer,
The fact that you managed to sit and study for 12 to 19 hours is proof that you have discipline and focus. These qualities are rare in this day and age, where our attention spans are competing with those of a goldfish. Discipline and focus will take you very far in life. However, another truth is that hard work on its own does not guarantee results. Smart work does.

If you are studying endlessly without a plan, it is almost akin to a hamster running on a treadmill. You will have exhausted yourself but you may not necessarily have moved forward. See, your mind also needs rest, balance and the right method to be able to perform. If your brain is overworked, it can block you from retaining information properly. That might explain why those who studied less, but more effectively, were able to get higher scores.

Auntie would suggest that you reflect on what happened without judgement. That means that you don’t punish yourself and instead ask yourself, very honestly, about what didn’t work. Were you just memorising the facts instead of practising past papers, paying attention to teachers’ feedback or actively testing yourself?

In addition to this, try and figure out which method of study works for you. Once you find out, you will see that two hours of focusing, using the right method that works for you (ie active recall, exam technique, timed practice), can often beat ten hours of passive reading.

Remember, one setback should not make you think about “giving up.” I strongly believe that, once you find the right study method, you will be back on track, working towards your dream. You haven’t said what your dream is and whether you will be giving A-level exams another shot. 

For now, you should simply focus on healing. I know it hurts when you are disappointed in your grades while others around you are moving forward with their education. I would say, you should go ahead, face how you feel and grieve in private. But don’t stay stuck.

And please, don’t listen to those who dismiss your effort. Your effort matters and it simply needs to be redirected. You’ve proven you can work hard and for long hours. Now it is time to learn to work smart.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, September 14th, 2025