Michael J Fox said, “Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” Should we, then, live in a large family where we know all our relatives?
In large families, there is always someone to look after the children when the parents need to go to work or carry out any other important chore. This ensures that children are not left all alone at home for long periods of time. Research shows that children left all alone are likely to undergo stress, depression and feelings of loneliness, aside from the compromised safety of young children left alone.
The addition of more people in a large family provides more opinions, ideas and perspectives. As Steve Case said, “You also have to recognise that the strength of a team is different people with different perspectives.”
Children also get the chance to interact with grandparents, aunts, uncles and older cousins that can act as role models for them and help to enhance their social skills in dealing with all kinds of people from various age groups.
A large family provides a feeling of comfort. One is more secure and able to defend oneself against a robbery better if there are more people in the family. There is also a sense of comfort in knowing that if your immediate family is unwell and there is a crisis, there are others there to help.
On the flip side of the coin, the bigger the family, the more fights there will be. Sometimes the fights are minor, at other times, they can lead to conflicts due to which they may stop talking to another. There is also more rivalry, as siblings may compete with their cousins, whether in academics or in extra-curricular. This puts more pressure on children and their parents, who already have more than enough on their plate. Aside from destroying key family relationships, these fights between relatives have an adverse effect on innocent children.
In large families, there also tends to be a lot of noise. There is rarely a moment of complete peace and tranquillity. There is always a hustle bustle, as different people are doing different things, following different schedules. The doorbell is constantly ringing, often late at night, as some guest or delivery service arrives. There is chatter going on at all times of the day. Many people find it impossible to operate in such a chaotic atmosphere.
But living in a large family develops a child’s ability to deal with the real world, with countless people in it. Nevertheless, there is no right or wrong answer as to whether or not one should live in a large joint family system. The answer to this question depends on the nature of the individual in question. Living in a large family is an excellent choice for those who are tolerant, flexible and have the ability to resolve issues peacefully and without resorting to conflict and clashes.
Published in Dawn, Young World, October 7th, 2023
