It is amazing just how the image and theme of Sultan Rahi, the famous Punjabi actor known as the Clint Eastwood of Pakistan, has been used by an eatery in DHA One’s K-Block Market. All over the place you can see ‘Maula Jatt’ and his ‘gandassa’. Amazing place.

But the ethos of the actor deserves a very macho menu, and that is exactly what one gets. I had been told about this place by a journalist friend, who claimed that this is as Lahori as is possible in a DHA setting. Now a macho menu would mean various versions of mutton, beef and chicken in grill and ‘handi’. But then I know for a fact that Sultan Rahi in a newspaper article once wrote that his favourite dish was ‘mash ke daal’. Of meats he preferred mutton chops.

For starters the name of the eatery is Pataka Boti, which in simple English translates ‘Explosive Meat’, and the menu has nothing but meat, meat and meat, plus just one vegetarian ‘mash ke daal’. The décor is very much like an old walled city eatery and to add to the romance its waiters, polite that they are, reflect that very old city mood.

So we sat down to order for three persons. Phew … meat, meat. Our order was ‘mash ke daal’, three quarter-pieces of chicken tikka and a mutton ‘achaari handi’. Just for fun a friend also ordered a plate of ‘gola kebabs’, the sort you get in Lohari Gate. For bread we ordered ‘kalwanji naans’. We were almost tempted to try ‘Maa Gee ke Nihari’ for it sounded so tempting, but the food already ordered was more than enough for six, not three buffoons out to try old walled city food.

The ‘gola kebabs’ came first and they were tasty and not very spicy. The nearest I can think of are the ‘dhagga kebabs’ on Aibak Road just off Anarkali. The ‘mash ke daal’ followed and we set about trying it in small portions for the major meat order was yet to come. It was full of ‘desi ghee’ with ample portions of thin fried onions and neatly cut ‘adraq’ (ginger). Oh, it was amazing and I am not surprised that the Clint Eastwood of Pakistan preferred this over meat.

Just as we were in a misty mood over the ‘daal’ the waiter brings in the ‘mutton achaari handi’ and the chicken tikkas. There was a feeling that the food was so much that very soon we would fall over incapacitated. I went for the mutton ‘achaari handi’ and the meat just melted in the mouth. The chicken tikka piece seemed to look at me helplessly as if wanting to be tried. So after a starter of ‘gola kebabs’ followed by ‘mash ke daal’ and ‘mutton achari handi’ we decided to get the tikka pieces packed. Sanity had returned instead of the ‘gandassa’ mentality.

Let me judge this eating out experience on a scale of one to nine for eight parameters. The average will truly reflect this experience. For food quality it gets seven out of nine, for taste a seven is just fine, for service a six will do, for ambience a seven is being generous, for quality of crockery and cutlery a six is a fair number, for prices six will do (no cheap ride), cleanliness gets an impressive seven and the ease of parking gets six (valet service is fine).

All this averages to a very impressive 6.5 out of nine. Recommended, but do not order too much, please. The idea of theme-based eateries just shows that Lahore as the culinary capital of Pakistan, and to some extent the sub-continent, is growing in stature.

MAGAZ MASALLA: A close family friend recommended that I try out a unique ‘magaz masalla’ in Royal Park which is part of the famous Butt Halwa Puri shop near the edge of Cooper Road. His claim was that the entire sheep ‘magaz’ was presented separately on the ‘masalla’ as one solid piece. Now this poses problems, for within the brain structure are the different sectors kept together by a fairly strong network of nerves, and to cook it as a whole just did not make sense.

The major problem with the way ‘magaz’ is prepared by amateur cooks is that they simply mash it up, depriving it of its amazing taste. I went to meet Butt and he informed me that the ‘magaz’ was carefully dissected to remove the nerves and then the entire piece locked in a muslin cloth which is cooked dipped in boiling salted water. Mind you this is the way it is prepared in France, where it is an expensive delicacy. Here the ‘magaz’ is cooked separately from the ‘masalla’. The result is amazing.

Published in Dawn, April 1st, 2018

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