Come hail or high water, if there’s one industry that is booming in Pakistan despite unending economic crises, rampant unemployment and mounting debts, it is the telecommunication industry. As of end 2012 there are 123.5 million cell phone users sprawling this country. One is astounded to read the human development index on Pakistan which states that 60.3pc of the population lives on less than $2 a day but 70pc of the population sports a mobile phone! Strange are the ways of this land!

The mobile phone was invented largely to increase outreach in cases of emergencies and to increase accessibility when critical. However, with the increase in the number of service providers, and thanks to the cut-throat price war, mobile phone calls are becoming cheaper by the day. Several packages also offer a high number of free text messages so people don’t need to think of the cost before typing out a quick message.

One of the most positive aspects of this communication revolution has to be the ability for small-time entrepreneurs to provide their services without incurring the expense of renting a shop. Now you can simply call your plumber, electrician, fridge repairman, etc, and they can operate directly from their home. On the downside, there are people who think nothing of making or receiving calls in places like movie theatres, during meetings and other public places to ask their kid if he’s had his dinner. Now how does that rate as an emergency?

Sadly, it seems that the use of mobile phones is most misunderstood in Pakistan. Has it got something to do with the literacy levels of the country? Consider my driver, for instance. His girl friend calls him only when he is driving at the speed of 100km per hour! In my presence he doesn’t take the call but the effect of the ringtone is obvious in the manner that he cuts across Karachi’s choked arteries.

Our maid at home has two cell phones and uses multiple SIMs; she can barely read and write but has a thorough understanding of how to best use the different packages for maximum economy. She gets my young son to read out the messages she receives from her many admirers.

I learnt from my inquisitive wife that our maid and cook are having a torrid affair. They also exchange messages from one room to another! I am not a fun spoiler and I enjoy the creativity of our nation, but I do believe that nowhere in the world is mobile phone usage as abused as over here.

But then, the educated class are no less and texting romantic messages in both English and Urdu — and sometimes in local vernacular as well — is the trend of the times. A major fallout of this trend is that wives have become super suspicious; they are ultra conscious of the probability of their husbands having surreptitious affairs over the mobile and are not above subjecting their spouse’s phone to a forensic examination.

Then there is the bane of unsolicited messages. A banker friend is regularly harassed by messages, often at one in the morning, from a woman who writes him passionate text messages and often sends pictures of herself. I wonder what will happen the day his better (or worse, maybe) half discovers those pictures.

In the ambit of romanticism, there is no end to the frenzy. At office two colleagues are exchanging messages, ‘Do you love me?’ ‘Yes handsome.’ ‘Can you live on my income?’ ‘Yes but what will you live on?’

To make the most of this trend, cellular companies go bonkers on occasions like Valentine’s Day, coming up with the most outrageous slogans: ‘make her believe you love her, even if you don’t.’

Love it or loathe it, the mobile phone is here to stay; but one wonders how long these mobile-romances last.