Teacher: Why are you so grouchy today?

Pupil: I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Teacher: And that makes you grouchy?

Pupil: Sure it does. My bed is next to the wall.

*****

Teacher: What does it take for your mum to get you out of bed in the morning?

Pupil: About 45 minutes.

*****

My father has a great way of getting me out of bed in the morning. I sleep with the two dogs in my bed and when it’s time for me to get up, he throws the cat in.

*****

I like to sleep. That not only explains why I'm late to school, but also my grades.

*****

I'm always prompt at getting out of bed in the morning. I figure the sooner I get to school, the sooner I can get back to sleep.

*****

I have another buddy who is late for everything. It takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

*****

“Did you hear the good news? The principal gave us the day off from school tomorrow.”

“Oh no! I was planning to skip school tomorrow.”— Compiled by The Surfer 

Opinion

Editorial

A difficult story
Updated 12 Jun, 2026

A difficult story

Unless productivity becomes the dominant target of economic policy, Pakistan will continue to oscillate between crises and fragile recovery.
Rough waters
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Rough waters

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Politicised football
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Politicised football

ALMOST three-and-half years since Lionel Messi led Argentina to FIFA World Cup glory, the latest edition of...
GB polls’ aftermath
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GB polls’ aftermath

The new administration must address the region’s issues proactively.
Peace in retreat
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Peace in retreat

THE ceasefire announced in April was supposed to create space for negotiations. Instead, it has been repeatedly...
A few good men
11 Jun, 2026

A few good men

IT was a brave move, no doubt. This Tuesday, in the land of the Afghan Taliban, a few good men decided to take a...