A friend of mine had the most eligible bachelors in her family, family friends as well as class-mates who pined for her attention, eager to send their mom over to her place to propose marriage. We always pictured her with a stable, predictable, kind, caring husband, back home just in time for an evening cup of tea, a match made in heaven with the blessings of the parents. We were so wrong!

Our friend fell for the proverbial “bad guy” whom all the girls used to avoid. He would get into fights and either had given someone a black eye that week, or had a black eye himself. He liked guns, dangerous car racing, screeching halts, dangerous wheelies on bikes, and belonged to a gang, a tribe and a political party. But he loved her like crazy, as did she. They complemented and completed each other in a weird, twisted way.

The Good Girl falling for the Bad Boy is a universal phenomenon. Many girls confess to being drawn to the wrong boys, the word “wrong” debatable in this context. Saima Irshad is one such girl. “I have a history of getting bored with good boys and being fascinated with bad boys,” she confesses. “I love guys who are dangerous, own guns, look roguish, have been through dangerous accidents and shooting, know martial arts, the phadday-baaz type, who have this air of danger around them. It’s kind of thrilling. And somehow they find me attractive too.”Does the “Yin Yang” theory have anything to do with this? The ancient Chinese subscribed to a concept called Yin Yang a belief that says that there exist two complementary forces in the universe. While they are both opposites, one is not better than the other. Instead, a balance of both is desirable. This thinking is different from the concept of duality where one state overcomes the other, e.g. good over evil. In Yin Yang, too much of either one is bad.

Soft versus hard, stillness versus movement, intuitive versus logical; the sun is Yang while the moon is Yin. The female is Yin while the male is Yang. Winter is Yin while summer is Yang. Opposites attract and complement each other. However, in the Yin Yang concept, Yang represents everything positive or masculine and Yin is characterised as negative or feminine. But in our bad boy-good girl scenario, it is the Yin or the feminine which is the positive force. At the end, if they complement each other, it doesn’t really matter.

Shahana Abbas, however, did not have such a good experience with her Bad Boy. The crazily-in-love Romeo who would shoot on sight if any other guy so much as talked to her, forced her to marry him discreetly. Months later, it ended in an abrupt and bitter divorce. The insanely passionate personality type brings with it unpredictability, impulsiveness and possibly violent streaks. The violent and crazy types are more passionate but are also deceitful and dishonest. It is definitely a mistake to take them seriously as they are not able to handle serious relationships,” says Abbas remorsefully about her experience with the man.

Knowing the possible risks involved, why do then completely sane and level-headed girls gravitate towards these kind of men? Women perhaps feel that dangerous, emotionally high-strung men have an edge over the predictable, dependable types because they are passionate and expressive about their emotions.

Unpredictability also brings with it an aura of fun. Life with bad boys is far less mundane. Every day is a new day. Daily squabbles and relentless arguments can lead to unpleasantness but the flip side is that the relationship is far from being boring, and making up after a fight keeps the spark alive.

The debate between whether to choose good boys or bad boys boils down to the ultimate tug of war inside each one of us – whether to follow the head or the heart.