From Super Mario Bros (1993) to WarCraft (2016), there hasn’t been a single film based on a video game that can be classified as good. In fact, they’ve been mostly terrible. It’s come to the point where fans genuinely feel the medium simply can’t translate to the silver screen. Unfortunately, Assassin’s Creed only worsens the reputation of films based on video games by being an absolute mind-numbing snore-fest thanks to serious flaws in script, action and choreography.

To be honest, while I had gauged that Assassin’s Creed would be largely forgettable from the trailers, I was still holding out hope that it would surprise me. At the very least, I wasn’t expecting mediocrity. This is because there is some serious talent working on the film. To start with, Assassin’s Creed is directed by Justin Kurzel (Macbeth) a skilled film-maker with prestigious accolades under his belt. What’s more, the film’s lead Michael Fassbender (Callum Lynch/Aguilar de Nerha), who worked with Kurzel on Macbeth, is a charismatic and talented leading man. Some of the other impressive cast boasted by Assassin’s Creed include critically-lauded French actress Marion Cotillard who plays scientist Sophia Rikkin at the Abstergo Foundation and Jeremy Irons who plays her father Alan and the CEO of the foundation. Fans of the cult hit HBO show The Wire will also recognise Omar actor Michael K. Williams. Here, Williams (Moussa/Baptiste) plays a Haitian assassin specialising in voodoo poison.

To be fair, the actors give it their best here. Fassbender in particular is very earnest in his role and goes completely into character no matter how ridiculous the dialogue or awkwardly grim the setting is.

Assassin’s Creed is a tiresome and jarring watch

The biggest flaw with Assassin’s Creed is that it spends far too much time in the present. The main selling point for the games was their historic setting. The premise that the protagonist is a descendant of the assassin bloodline in present day where he is being forcefully asked to live through his genetic memories was merely a vehicle for the games to drive players into the heart of the story, i.e. the past. This is a reversal in the Assassin’s Creed movie, where the majority of the film takes place in present day. Here, Callum is secretly saved from execution for the instinctive murder of a pimp who tried to rob him, and taken to a laboratory at the Abstergo Foundation in Spain where he is attached to all sorts of sophisticated machinery. The foundation’s goal is find the ‘Apple of Eden’, a genetic code that will help mankind unlock free will.

Watching the film unfold, I just assumed that this premise was ready to shift us to the historic setting of the assassins but as it turned out the premise was the setting itself. To be fair, the scenes starring Callum’s ancestor Aguilar aren’t particularly compelling either, but they still make for better entertainment. What’s worse is how Assassin’s Creed tries to connect the past to the present by showing a zombie-like Callum mimic the actions of Aguilar in the present day with such frequency that it grows tiresome and jarring to watch.

Where Assassin’s Creed is most disappointing is the action itself. These amateurish sequences are fast-paced, shaky, jarringly edited and confusing, and akin to the rest of the film, completely off-target.

Rated PG-13 for violence, action, thematic elements and strong language

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, January 8th, 2017