It is a well acknowledged fact that men and women think differently. What those differences are, however, remain under-explored. Here’s my attempt, then, to point out just how different men are.

Face Value When a guy is on Facebook and see's a girl whose profile picture is a cartoon, he doesn't think how cute that is; instead, he assumes that she's fat, ugly, or a mutation of both. He is also likely to laud her ‘wonderful’ personality.

For these reasons, perhaps, women see diets as a way to improve their health and look more appealing. But men see diets as punishments for future crimes (that we are likely to commit, such as noticing ‘hot friends’).

Food Tactics The easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We are emotionally susceptible to falling in love with good cooks; in fact, food is our de facto tie breaker. Horrible, but true. And since women use the size of men’s bank accounts as their rishta tie breakers, men find a woman’s flair in the kitchen to be a both fair and prudent factor for evaluation.

Note: There has been no proof that women have hearts. It is thought that they develop them once they bear children…Until then, bank accounts it is.

Transportation Men will rush to change a woman's flat tire for the very simple reason that it's shameful to let her do it on her own. A feminist views this as part of man’s strategy to continually oppress women. After all, women are less likely to escape their horrible lives by car if they don't know how to change a tire. A minority of women also cite the inflationary high cost of manicures.

Legal Standards Women keep a wary eye on the laws passed in parliaments that could be used to subjugate women. Men don't notice what laws are passed in parliament, because they know they don't really matter. Did anyone know that smoking indoors is actually illegal? Certainly not, given that many Pakistani restaurants sell cigarettes off the menu.

The fact is, guys are practical with regards to corruption – we do the math on how much it costs to bribe a policeman and pay the fee. Women, meanwhile, are never in a situation to bribe policemen because all they have to do is roll their eyes and refer to the 'distinguished' policewallah as bhai. Of course, women also like to brag that they are less corrupt, but I guess they figure it only counts as corruption when money is changing hands.

The Work Place Men don't harass women at the work place, they appreciate them – particularly when there is a good chance that they'll feed us. Women don't harass men at the work place unless there is a good chance it could result in an all-paid-for shopping spree with an option for a life-time commitment.

Men work late to avoid going home to their wives. On the other hand, women work late because they are trying to get a guy to marry them.

The Home Life Men see the home as a place to unwind after work. Women see their jobs as a place to unwind since their home is where they have to do real work. Women see running, cleaning, and caring for the household as a major responsibility, which is a pity, as men couldn't care less what happens to the house as long as they are fed and the women in their lives can find their stuff.

Men Never Get to be Right A man will tell a woman that she's right, even when she's not, for nothing other than peace of mind. Women, as far as recorded history can tell, have never been wrong, and if they on occasion do admit to a mistake, they do it in the most condescending method possible.

That said, there is also a practical reason why a man won’t disagree with a woman in public. For starters, every other man within earshot will flip out and smack the dissenting gent upside the head. For their part, women yell at men in public so that every guy in hearing distance will rush to her ‘aid’ and beat that boy to a shiny messy pulp. Thank you, patriarchal protectionism.

The Big Idea Men are hardly perfect in their own right, but they live with their faults and silently bear their imperfections, for no other reason than they want to be better than they really are.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.