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Borrowing from the phrase ‘charity begins at home’, I would like to state that ‘empowerment begins at home’ — more specifically, women’s empowerment. As seen repeatedly in our culture since decades, women are treated as an exception, as a frail existence and more often than not, a victim.
Being subjected to violence, assault and abuse does make a woman a victim, but for those who have not been through such kind of trauma… why the perpetual damsel in distress mode? True, it’s a great feeling when men in a long line-up part ways to make room for you as chants of “ladies hain, ladies hain” follow you around — but hold up — why the special treatment for a woman? Are we not as capable as men to stand in line ups or wait at counters just like everyone else?
This mentality and treatment is perpetuated because of our acceptance of it. Now some may argue that there is nothing wrong with some special treatment every now and then — except it brings with it lots of other presumptions about women and to remove those, society as a whole needs to make some amendments.
But before the common man (and woman) gets to work, the mighty media has to play its role in the process too. Let’s start with the ever popular argument of women and their role in television commercials; why are we always cooking and cleaning? Seriously? How about the next commercial revolving around an angry boss and a paranoid employee cast women in those roles instead of men? The thought can’t be that far-fetched. Women are all over the banking and corporate sectors, which are often depicted in these advertisements, yet they are only chosen to be the anxious wife waiting at home by the door. How does that never get old?
A recent cell phone service commercial does break the norm and show a woman as a high powered executive for once; unfortunately the impact is ruined when, at the end, the boss tells her employee that the file she asked him to bring was a nail file. What a slap in the face of professional women everywhere.
Women are looked upon as homemakers, which I fully agree, is no less challenging than a full-time job — but women are so many other things too! Women are software engineers and architects; they are journalists and they are multi-national CEOs — but when it comes down to mainstream advertisements, they are either testing a new detergent or frying kebabs.
Moving on from advertisements but sill sticking to the media, let’s have a look at women and their portrayal in news reports: “Five people killed, including two women in blast” — does anyone not see anything wrong in this headline? Women are people too, you know? And I get that our emotions are being prodded further by mentioning that casualties included the “poor helpless women”, but honestly, causalities are equally saddening — be it men or women — so why the constant segregation here? The men killed are also someone’s fathers, brothers and beloveds — why disregard the loss their death will cause?
Often children fall without really hurting themselves, however, if they catch their parent’s eye, they’ll make a face and the parent will run to comfort the child and rub the imaginary pain away. Ignore the child when he falls (given there is no serious injury), and he’ll walk away just fine and continue playing. This rings true in our stance on women too. Constantly remind them about how frail and weak they are, they will assume that is true and never really end up disputing it as they go through life’s experiences.
Depending on a father, brother or spouse is a great feeling but assuming you are ill-equipped to go through life without one is where the flaw emerges. People urge caution when dealing with females, saying “larki hai, hurt ho jai gee”…is a man any less capable of being hurt — be it heartbreak or be it a layoff? Sure, we react in different ways but that is no reason to sugarcoat reality for women.
When push comes to shove, women can run households, manage businesses, raise children and run countries — giving them respect is commendable but assuming they are fragile and constantly making them an exception will never really make us an equal society. Fighting for women’s rights is essential in order to have the same opportunities in life as men… but fighting for women’s rights because they are the “weaker sex” is a warped school of thought and instead of emboldening them, it will only perpetuate the stereotypes.
