I turned 39 this September. About 20 per cent of my hair has turned grey. My forehead has expanded making me look more intelligent, or should I say I have already started losing my hair making me look more aged? I think I should stick to the former as it pleases me more.

I have had a wonderful and playful youth. As a teenager and in my 20s, I had been a head turner. I knew that it would not last for long and I would not remain a head turner forever. But I didn’t want to spoil my personality thinking about something which I thought had years to come. Now at this age I miss my head full of black hair or to be honest I miss my 20s a lot. Sometimes I just don’t feel like coming out of my 20s but the fact is that age has started to show its colour and I have to accept it.

Why is it so difficult to accept ageing? Why does everybody wish to stay young forever?

Hundreds of anti-ageing products are sold all over the world, with their manufacturers making billions of dollars every year. Are they to blame for taking advantage of this particular human psyche of wishing to stay young forever? No, of course not. It is us who do not wish to look old.

What is so charming about being young that nobody wants to grow old? When you are young, it’s altogether a different feeling. You are at your best in everything. And if you realise that you are not going to remain strong, young, healthy, ambitious, good looking, full of life person forever, you can do wonders in these years. Your mind is at its best, your body is at its best, your looks are at their best, your energy is at its best and the most important of all, your health allows you to convert your energy into your dreams and your dreams into reality.

I have seen lots of older men who colour their greying hair to hide their real age. Some of them who have started to lose hair, let their hair grow on either side and arrange it in a way that covers their baldness. Whatever you do to hide your age, the experiences you have been through in your life leave some mark on your face. The problems you have been through paint some permanent expressions on your face. The issues you have spent your life resolving have weakened your body. The livelihood you have earned for yourself and your family now has a story to tell even if you are not willing to reveal it.

My colleagues and I had thrown a surprise birthday party for our boss on his 60th birthday. He was a man of many qualities, a great personality and a bundle of great energy even at 60. In his speech that day he said: “My grandson said to me: ‘grandpa you are only 20’ and explained that ‘life starts after 40 and you just turned 60 so 60 minus 40 is 20’. I think my grandson is right; life really starts after 40. You have matured in your thoughts, you are through with your emotional hastiness, you have gained enough experience to make sensible decisions in your life, your kids are growing making you realise how difficult it had been for your parents to bring you up, and eventually you end up respecting your parents”. My boss was right in a way, though his definition cannot be generalised.

How you age depends on your circumstances and the experiences. Two persons of the same age having entirely different circumstances can appear to be different age wise. A person who has had a good life can look younger than a person of the same age who has had a troubled and an unprivileged life.

Once my wife told me how happy she felt when one of her students’ mother expressed surprise on getting to know that she was married for so long as she looked so young. It is a fact that when someone compliments you about looking younger than your real age, you suddenly put on a kilo of additional weight. You keep recalling that compliment and even sharing it with others with joy. Contrary to that, if someone calls you by a title used for elderly people like ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’, you tend to get irritated. You see yourself in the mirror every time you recall that incident to make sure that you still don’t fall in that category.

Adolescence is an important and a charming age. Nonetheless, the other stages of life like childhood, middle age and old age too have charms of their own. We just have to learn to accept every stage of life as it comes to us. And we have to live it gracefully with dignity and pride. Instead of fighting a losing battle against nature, we should surrender to it. Instead of focusing on how we look on the outside, we should focus more on how we feel inside. If you have problems, do something about them. If you can’t, worrying won’t solve your problems. So, why not stop worrying and start living?