Have you ever been around those who fret most of the time? I mean those from whom all you ever hear is fret, fret and more fret as they always have one thing or the other to complain about. Those who just seek an opportunity to turn a nice and peaceful conversation to non-stop complaining?

Well, most probably your answer to the aforementioned questions is in the affirmative as most of us have already come across at least one person who exhibits this kind of behaviour. The truth is that there is a large section of our society which has taken to complaining about one thing or the other in their day-to-day discussions. Sometimes they even don’t realise what they are doing. It is as if fretting is definitely the ‘in’ thing now or the latest trend.

This is not to say that we should prohibit complaining, as it is only natural to fret; or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that no one can help complaining, considering the number of problems we have to deal with on a daily basis, for instance, inflation and shortage of the basic necessities such as electricity and water. So, honestly speaking, complaining does provide us an outlet to vent frustration and is sometimes a feel-good exercise. However, what is one supposed to do when in the company of habitual complainers who keep on complaining constantly?

“There are a lot of people out there seeking someone to hear their side of the story and give a shoulder to cry on, but when it comes to hearing your side they will either turn a deaf ear or won’t let you get a word in edgewise because all they really want is to be heard,” says 35-year-old Zobia Ashfaq, a housewife and mother of two.

“Sometimes it becomes impossible to shun such people and moderating their behaviour is not an option. It doesn’t help to try to cheer them up or to offer solutions, nor does it help to tell them to pull themselves together or start complaining along with them. So, at times, it becomes a bit irritating to bear with them. And the worst is that they can even make you dissatisfied with everything and also turn you into a complainer. So it is better not to launch into a conversation that will start them off,” she adds.

Thirty-three-year-old Nasreen Shaheen remarks, “Unfortunately, there is no escape from habitual complainers as they can be anyone, anywhere and everywhere. They come in all shapes and sizes, belong to any stratum of society, and can be your neighbour, your colleague, your classmate or even total stranger you run into. However, remaining a passive listener who is screaming on the inside but seems to be attentive will only encourage them and you can be bombarded with a barrage of complaints.”

Thirty-seven-year-old banker, Ejaz Rizvi, suggests, “Interrupt them politely if necessary and change the subject when you have listened for as long as you can, then gently move to a different topic and never let it be another opener. Find something positive to talk about.

If the conversation turns malicious firmly tell the person that you don’t want to say anything negative about anyone. Try to help the person see the positive and brighter side of things.”

Mahwish Saeed, a 32-year-old teacher, suggests, “Reduce the amount of time you spend with the complainer. Being around someone who is consistently unhappy can bring you down and cause you to focus more on what is not perfect in your life. Wear a neutral expression and put on the ‘I don't care’ look. Considering yourself as a brick wall and complainers as the rubber ball might work as rubber balls bounce off brick walls. If you must be in the company of complainers, try including your friends or family. You will be less of a target.”

Babar Hussain, a 40-year-old marketing manager, says “After listening to the usual grumble and groans for a while you can say with a deep sympathetic voice that their problems sound terrible and it is amazing how they cope with their problems. Chances are that the complainer might say in turn that it is not that bad really. This approach works as it gives the impression to the complainer that you are taking their distress seriously and cuts short the complaints.”

Considering how contagious a disease habitual complaining is and how fast it is spreading in the society you never know when these tips might come in handy.