As I reconnected with long lost contacts after many moons of living as a legal alien two oceans away, the dreadful statistics of rain havoc hit the headlines. This is what they call bittersweet I suppose. In Pakistan, the contradiction of agony and ecstasy gets a whole new meaning.
On the one hand there is the indescribable joy of coming together with family that urges you to never leave them, and on the other, there is the indefinable state of deteriorating governance that makes you want to turn tail and run back.
Worst of all is the apathy that is so apparent in the leadership of this condemned nation. Such severe floods in an area not previously known to be so susceptible has baffled the country. Yet, while the nation counts its dead, our president decides to take a vacation and flies over to the cooler climes of Europe? Some sense of responsibility if only for appearances sake would have been expected.
It is heartening though that some aspects are still as dependable as ever - like our army jawaans.
Rising to the occasion in clearing up the air crash disaster from the hazardous terrain of the Margalla hills and reaching out to help the victims of destruction caused by the floods, I wonder what sets these people apart and why can't our leadership borrow a bit from this ilk of dedicated servers (no, I am not promoting military dictatorship, just appreciating the committed grass root excellence of this unappreciated lot).
And as if designed purposely to disgust, the newsreels simultaneously flash cosy images of our prime minister schmoozing with the French PM with two of his potential political heirs in tow as the infantry battles torrential currents carrying the elderly on their backs through long distances.
And in the midst of all this is our gifted information minister who has perfected the art of falsifying facts and who blithely paints the most optimistic picture he can, even if it means inaccurate broadcasts. Has the word 'accountability' been expunged from Pakistan's constitution? I almost long for the time when only PTV ruled the roost and Kasauti was the only infotainment provided to viewers. Out of all his alleged misdeeds, giving license to private outlets to run riot with facts and controversies is what Musharraf should be called to book for!
In between cell phones advertisements continuing their sales in various tunes and washing detergents giving off intoxicating scents through creative visuals, the din created by the warring hosts and speakers is deafening. Where truth is tainted with political affiliations and facts are distorted in the race for breaking news, how will sanity or sound judgement prevail? Searching for the most grisly visual and exploiting victims of tragedies is now every news channel's operative code. Bickering trends in talk shows are so pervasive that the entire nation has taken on belligerence as the accepted code of conduct.
Now with ethnic violence in Karachi taking another vicious turn, another spate of terror seems imminent and more ghoulish newsreels will probably follow.
With our house in so much disorder we wonder why the British PM criticises us in the most demeaning manner? What are we objecting to, his choice of words or at being called a spade on the international front?
Our warped priorities are obvious as half of the country lies submerged under rain water at this point with hundreds of family members and loved ones mourning losses while our Prime Minister holidays with his kids on state funds.
Ironically though, much as I lament the state of my country on my homecoming, when out of here, all I remember are the happy moments of my earlier days when there was much, much more to be proud of. When sports and culture were thriving industries and tourism still flourished. When girls sang songs in cricket matches and hockey stadiums hosted tournaments to packed crowds.
I do believe that we can rekindle that lost glory, if only we own up to our shortcomings and shift our focus from individual agendas to a united one.
When media stops running the rat race to break a story and becomes more humane, perhaps the nation too might turn more compassionate. And when the government has its people's welfare as its mandate instead of just playing dirty politics with its rivals, other governments will not so boldly belittle us and get away with it.
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