Opinion: The friendship code

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Friendship is hard to define — every relationship is shaped by different circumstances. Some friendships grow from mutual understanding, others from shared interests, while some simply develop through spending time together.

Yet we don’t consider everyone we know as a friend. What friendship means to me may not mean the same to you, and that’s what makes it such a personal relationship.

By definition, a friend is someone with whom we share mutual trust and closeness. But, in my opinion, knowing someone and calling them a friend are two very different things.

Here’s what sets a true friend apart.

Got your back, always

I believe a true friend stands by your side, no matter what phase of life you are going through. Whether you are on cloud nine or life has knocked you down to rock bottom, a true friend is always there for you.

They may not fully understand your situation or have the means to solve your problems, but their empathy and kindness can make even the toughest times easier to bear. You may have experienced moments when everything seemed to be falling apart, yet the presence of a caring friend gave you the strength to face life’s challenges.

Love me, flaws and all

The foundation of friendship rests on one simple principle: it does not let differences get in the way. Despite the challenges, true friendship remains strong.

A real friend appreciates you just the way you are. They know your flaws, understand your weaknesses and are aware of both your strengths and shortcomings, yet they accept you wholeheartedly.

This doesn’t mean they encourage you to do something wrong. Instead, they are honest enough to point out your mistakes while continuing to support you through both good times and bad. Their friendship is built on honesty, understanding and acceptance.

Agree to disagree

It’s perfectly normal for friends to disagree with each other. What matters is that these disagreements don’t create resentment or distance between you.

Even if you and your friend have different opinions, those differences should never become an excuse to walk away from the friendship. True friends respect each other’s perspectives and don’t let disagreements weaken their bond.

My secret’s keeper

Another defining quality of a true friend is that you can trust them with your secrets.

You may hesitate to share something personal with others for fear that it will be revealed, but a true friend knows how to keep your confidence. They won’t go around sharing what you’ve told them. Instead, they respect your trust and keep your conversations private.

Not a one-way street

True friendship flourishes when both friends are honest, caring and supportive. If your friend is always there to help and encourage you, you should value that friendship by being equally supportive in return. Friendship is a two-way relationship.

If your friend is facing difficulties or turns to you for help, don’t hesitate to stand by them. Just as they make an effort to bring a smile to your face, you should do the same for them whenever they need you.

True friends who are selfless, thoughtful and empathetic are hard to find. As the saying goes, “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover — hard to find and lucky to have.”

Published in Dawn, Young World, August 22nd, 2026

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