Dear Auntie,
I am 18 years old and my family is forcing me to quit my studies and help my father in the family business. This has left me depressed. I want to become an engineer and I am currently preparing for the engineering college admission test (ECAT). My dream is to get admission in COMSATS University Islamabad.

But my family is demotivating me, saying I will not get admission in any university and that I should just join our family business. I have argued with them about it so many times but I can’t win.
Dreaming Under Pressure

‘My Parents Want Me To Give Up On My Dreams’

Dear Dreaming Under Pressure,
What your family is doing obviously feels suffocating to you. The thing is that when the people who you expect will always back you (ie family) start predicting that you will fail, it can mess with your head. You can start doubting your own dreams and capabilities. However, that only means that you are human.

But you are not alone. Being pressured to join a family business is common, as is having your ambition trivialised or dismissed. However, despite facing opposition, some people still go on to become engineers… and so, that is also common.

Right now, your family is speaking from a place of fear, not facts. They are probably thinking, “What if he fails?” and they also probably think that the family business is something that is guaranteed. Whereas you are probably thinking, “What if I never try?” This last fear is the one that can end up following you for the rest of your life.

At 18, most people’s life direction gets decided. If you give up now just to avoid arguments, you won’t be at peace. You’ll likely end up feeling resentful. And simmering resentment is not good for anyone’s family business.

On the flip side, if we are being honest, shouting matches between you and your parents won’t help you win this. You cannot defeat your parents with your emotions. You need to think this through… calmly.

So, firstly, stop arguing in a dramatic way and start talking to them like someone who has thought this through. Show them the dates for your ECAT and the entry test schedules. Share college fee structures, any scholarships you want to try for and your back-up universities. Talk to your parents and tell them to give you one year in which, if you don’t get admission, you will reconsider joining the family business. Parents understand when you talk about solid plans rather than when you cry about not being able to live your dreams.

And helping out and getting involved in the family business for some time does not have to mean that you will have to leave your studies. Many people study while handling work responsibilities. It might be difficult, but it is not impossible.

You are feeling depressed because you feel trapped. The way to deal with that feeling is to take control where you can. So, start putting together daily study goals and a schedule for ECAT prep. Do practice tests. When you take action, it reduces your feelings of helplessness.

Remember that your family doubting your capabilities does not predict your future. Many engineers, doctors and professionals were told that they won’t get in. Treat those doubts as noise, not your prophecy.

You are not asking your parents for money to party and waste your life. On the contrary, you are asking for professional education, which is a legitimate request. So, approach your parents calmly and with a plan. I wish you the best of luck.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, February 8th, 2026