I never imagined university life to be so unexpected, so challenging, so different. MBBS had always been my dream and I was finally living it. But maybe some dreams lose their shine when they turn into reality. And I feel that’s exactly what happened with me.

Wearing the traditional doctor’s white coat was a moment of pride for me and my family, but the weight of that fabric soon felt heavier than I had expected. I found myself buried under commitments, deadlines and date sheets. Studying had never been this tough or this vast. The thick textbooks, the bone models, the cadavers, the live patients — it was all beyond anything I had imagined.

The white coat was a symbol of pride, yes, but it also meant sacrificing my breaks to dissect lifeless bodies, memorising the nutrients in fries while others enjoyed them in the café and dressing up for vivas when my friends lounged in their pyjamas.

But amid all the academic stress, something was changing inside me. I realised I couldn’t let all five years blur away in the same academic grind I had been living since O Level. University was supposed to be a wholesome experience, a place to learn and grow — but no one could create that for me except myself. And soon, I rediscovered a passion I had long hidden — the desire to become an Instagram influencer.

Dreams evolve, passions collide and balance becomes the hardest subject to master

The start was thrilling. Creating a professional account, shooting my first video, uploading it to reels — it all felt like unlocking a part of myself that had been waiting to breathe. The response was incredible. The flood of likes, comments and views was exhilarating — it felt like validation, encouragement and connection all at once.

But soon, I realised that dreams demand more than excitement. They demand energy, time and sacrifices. And I wasn’t sure I could give all that — not when MBBS was already consuming every bit of me.

Doubt began creeping in. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe this wasn’t meant for someone like me — someone who had always found comfort in books and studies. Maybe studying was my art, after all.

The first term of MBBS drifted by in confusion. I found myself editing reels during biochemistry lectures, replying to DMs while walking through the dissection hall, memorising reel scripts and bone attachments at the same time. It felt like I was living in two worlds — and failing in both.

Those first few months were the hardest. My followers were increasing, but so was the guilt. Countless times, I thought about quitting Instagram. But how could I? It was the only thing adding colour to my grey, monotonous days. It was my escape, my breath of freedom against the suffocating routine of medical college.

The only thing that kept me going was persistence. Waking up every morning for university, uploading reels with little follower growth, spending nights catching up on lectures I had missed while editing — I somehow kept moving. And slowly, something clicked. I began finding balance. I managed to give more time to my studies and still save a little for my passion. Things started to settle. I was adapting. The rhythm was forming.

But then it hit me — this wasn’t the end of the struggle. It was only the beginning of a long journey.

Even now, some days I don’t post anything. Some days my reels don’t turn out the way I want because I’ve been too caught up in my coursework. But every day, I try. I give my time, my energy and my motivation to both.

And maybe that’s what matters most — to keep showing up. To stay consistent. To challenge your limits and evolve into the version of yourself that you love the most.

Published in Dawn, Young World, October 18th, 2025