There is a growing misunderstanding in people these days, mostly in teens and kids, who think that they are being straightforward, while in reality they are being rude.

Children often speak harshly and call it being straightforward. Similarly, many adults say, “I’m just straightforward,” but, in reality, they end up hurting others under the pretext of honesty. Phrases like “I’m straightforward because I don’t want to keep anyone’s wrongdoing in my heart. So I say it to their face instead of gossiping,” are commonly heard these days.

Unfortunately, what’s often being said “to their face” is not honesty, but harshness. If we all adopt this approach, by pointing out every flaw directly, we end up in feuds and broken relationships. Everyone has shortcomings, so if everyone starts being this brutally “honest,” our environment will quickly become toxic.

First, we need to understand what being straightforward really means. It’s about being direct and honest, especially when someone asks for your opinion. You respond clearly, without sugar-coating or using vague words. However, if you offer your opinion without being asked and you do it bluntly, it can come across as harsh or insensitive.

For example, if a friend wears something they’re excited about and you suddenly say, “That looks terrible on you,” without them asking for your opinion, it’s not honesty, it’s rudeness. But if they ask, “Do you think this looks good on me?” and you respond kindly with, “Yes, but I think (another) colour might suit you better,” that’s being straightforward in a respectful way.

We must be thoughtful when we speak, especially with people close to us. Being too blunt can hurt someone who values you, making them question their importance in your life. If you have a problem with someone, you can keep some distance or express it politely, but being harsh in the name of honesty is not the right approach.

A straightforward person often leads a carefree life, because they can say “no” when needed. However, when someone genuinely needs immediate help and they still refuse, their straightforwardness can come across as blunt or even insensitive.

A straightforward person usually doesn’t filter their words, which may help reduce their own stress by speaking freely. However, this unfiltered communication can unintentionally cause stress or hurt to the person at the receiving end, especially when the words are too direct or personal.

Let’s analyse when one person stops another from cooking or helping out just because they have an allergy on their hands; when someone criticises another’s belongings or creative efforts; when a person gives a harsh opinion, even if it’s technically right. Can we really call all this straightforwardness or inconsideration about the feelings of others?

No, it’s more like insensitive honesty. There are many thoughtful ways to express your views. Every person can understand others through empathy. But sadly, in today’s society, sometimes harsh and tactless behaviour is being passed off as ‘being straightforward’.

Honesty is valuable, but only when expressed with kindness and balance. Everything is best when in moderation; crossing that line often turns a strength into a weakness. We all have a role in making our surroundings more peaceful. Let’s start by working on these small, but impactful shifts in the mindset.

So dear young readers, it’s important to reflect and ask yourself: “Am I truly being honest, or just being insensitive?”

Published in Dawn, Young World, May 3rd, 2025