Dear Auntie,
I’m a 30-year-old guy. I have completed my studies and now I’m searching for a job. While I think that I’m a helping hand for others especially my family, my problem is that my sister does not help me as I think she should.

My sister wants everyone to make her happy with bundles of cash as pocket money and no one to ask her about anything. She spoils whatever she is cooking for dinner or lunch and never accepts her mistake. Rather than accepting her mistake, she blames it on others and distracts from the real problem. She is a careless girl and my mom tells her to do better than before while cooking or doing other work.

My sister makes the home environment tense. Kindly give her some advice and change her life. I hope you will do that.
Irritated

‘My sister does not accept her mistakes and blames others for them’

Dear Chauvinist Brother
Your sister hasn’t written to me, so clearly she doesn’t feel the need for my advice. Have you considered that she may still be learning to cook and too-much-salt-and-strange-looking-rotis type mistakes are inevitable?

Another thing you should consider, especially in the year 2017, is that cooking lunch and dinner may not be your sister’s thing just because she happens to be a woman. Yes, it may sound strange to you but the world is full of women who hate to cook and men who love it. The debate around gender roles and expectations has been around for a while now and people have moved beyond rigid gender stereotypes.

If you ever choose to step outside the bubble you live in, you’ll find plenty of men taking up roles and doing work that would have been previously considered a woman’s domain and vice versa. Yes, you should stand up and step into this century.

While your sister is, according to you, faltering while learning the housekeeping ropes, you have also, at age 30, not been able to find a job. She could very well turn around and jeer at you for failing at manhood and being an adult. Has she done that?

Since it is you, the annoyed brother, who has written in, Auntie would like to turn her critical eye back onto you. While your sister is, according to you, faltering while learning the housekeeping ropes, you have also, at age 30, not been able to find a job. She could very well turn around and jeer at you for failing at manhood and being an adult. Has she done that?

As for being happily receiving bundles of cash, Auntie has yet to meet someone who would refuse ‘free’ money. And why shouldn’t women get ‘paid’ or get some form of compensation for doing household work or chores? Most of us would be happy and really could do with extra moolah! You also say “rather than accepting her mistakes, she blames it on others.” Well, this seems to run in the family, because guess what? I just received an email from a brother blaming his sister for messing up!
Lots of growing up required, son. Lots.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, July 23rd, 2017