Rejection hurts, but give it time and the pain does end. So pick yourself up, brush off the dhool and move on.

Hi there,

I am a 30-year-old working woman. I have seen many ups and downs in my love life. I met a person during an interview at a company and exchanged contact numbers during normal conversation. The guy was well behaved and called me that same day asking about the result of the interview. The next day he asked to see me after office hours. I met him. He just dropped me home but showed interest in me, though he didn`t talk directly about friendship. Since then I have moved to another office and the guy is trying to get a job here.

The problem is that though I like the guy, I am wary because he is good looking and about 30-32. He is well settled also, but not married — his younger brother is. His family lives in Quetta and he lives in Karachi with two of his cousins. He texts me daily, but we don`t have long telephonic conversations because of our busy schedules.Is this guy true to me? My parents are divorced and I live with my dad who is strict.

Your loving niece

Dear Bhaanji,

There`s nothing like a woman`s gut feel when it comes to weeding out the wrong man. For all you know the guy maybe more interested in landing a job in your office, rather than an entanglement with you through his interest.

Still, it`s worth asking yourself a few things. Does he make an effort to meet you? Because if he does, it`s a positive sign. In fact, the more he tries to meet you (regardless of whether you two do actually meet) the better. However, if the sole purpose of these meetings is to meet you alone then maybe this guy is really looking for a fling.

If the relationship progresses I would also be interested to know, especially if he is well-off, whether he has been

spending on you. A keeper will make up occasions to give you flowers and candies just so that he can see a smile on your face (Warning a kanjoos keeper is not worth keeping). A keeper will also mention his family and will want you to meet his parents. It`s a very good sign if the guy tries to move mountains for ways to make this intercity encounter happen. However, if he isn`t mentioning family you`ll have to make allowances for the fact that the man may be on the run from his family.

A man who is only interested in getting you to be alone with him and who loses interest when you resist needs to be discarded as fast as garlic peel. Try this. For the next few days don`t call or SMS him; and if he calls, resist a bit and say you can`t reply because you are... err... making papyrus from recycled newspaper in your nephew`s bathtub! The bad guy will lose interest. Mr Right will wait around to see you and the papyrus.

Busy Auntie!

My problem is that my teacher (who is 30) disturbs me. Previously, he used to only stare at me, but now he has started to get physically close to me. At first I ignored him, but now he is exceeding the limits. How can I get away from him? Should I say something to him (he may insult me and pretend nothing happened)? Should I ignore him (he may do something wrong with me)? Or should I complain to the principal (it may spoil my reputation or he may take revenge)? Or should I leave this academy (this is the nearest academy to my home)? I`m 18 years old and I want to become a doctor, but can`t focus on my studies.

Wronged

Dear Act Now,

This is just wrong and you need to tell your parents. The guy is stepping over the line and abusing his position. He sounds like the kind of person who will use your meekness and good manners against you. Every time he sidles up to you, he becomes bolder so you need to do something about it, right now. If you let things be, then he will take that as an acceptance on your part and there will be witnesses who will say you didn`t mind, if things get ugly in the future.

Your parents and you need to approach the principal and take him in confidence. Remember, this is not about a teacher-student relationship - this guy is actually a predator parading as a teacher - it`s about being harassed.

Dear Auntie

I am in 10th grade and I have a crush on the hottest girl in class. I gave her an Eid card which she gave back to me. I don`t want to force her to be my girlfriend, but I still want her.

Rejected

Dear Redeemed,

Not a good feeling to be rejected , eh? It`s worse when you are in denial. Look jaan, the girl is not interested. And leave the forcing bit to the psychopaths of the world. You don`t force people to do anything, let alone have a relationship with you.

Rejection hurts, but give it time and the pain does end. So pick yourself up, brush off the dhool and move on.

Also, don`t take it personally and definitely avoid the need to confront this girl. This is tough, but it will help if you stop focusing on what is wrong with you. It maybe that nothing is wrong with you and she returned the card because she doesn`t want to be in a relationship with anyone or because she likes someone else.

Also learn from the experience. The truth could be that she finds Eid cards really lame, so next time you feel bold enough to approach a(nother) doe-eyed hottie, try something else. But never change who you are, just to be more acceptable to someone else, because that will only make you resentful. And trust life, because the girl who will love you for who you are will come along.

Hi Agni khala/phopo ji,

I often look at the cartoon sketch on your column and wonder how you really look. Can you please, please print your original picture this time?

Requesting Bhanja/Bhateeja

Next.

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